Most Exciting Time of Baseball Season Irrelevant Next to Least Exciting Time of Football Season.
With the September stretch run to the playoffs set to begin, all eyes are on the football transaction column to determine exactly how the final preseason game has affected NFL rosters. A host of intriguing story lines with resurgent teams and superb players will be confined to the final five minutes of all SportsCenter programs in order to give Peyton Manning's shoelacing form the attention it so richly deserves.
|A man who's not even Hines Ward|
Meanwhile in Baltimore, the Orioles stunning run towards dethroning the Yankees has turned heads away from Camden Yards and towards Insert Generic Bank Name Here Stadium. Manager Buck Showalter replied to questions of his team's staying power by saying: "Shut up! John Harbaugh is taking post-practice questions!"
As California braces for an epic month, with four teams in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Oakland all capable of making the playoffs, players and coaches alike just hope that either Randy Moss still catches the ball, Tyrelle Pryor proves the doubters wrong, or that the Jaguars move into a new downtown stadium.
|A man who does not play for the Cowboys|
In New York, the often insufferable New York Yankees fans have put away their pinstripes in order to more effectively obsess over the Giants and the Jets. Said one wide-eyed and giddy fan named Derek Jeter: "Ohmigod! Tim Tebow looked at me! He looked right at me!!"
|A man who should probably|
be throwing a football instead.
Reached for comment at his office in New York, baseball commissioner Bud Selig said, "We're just so excited that we can stop playing soon so that everyone can watch football in peace. Please, don't pay any attention to pennant races or Justin Verlander or Mike Trout, you'll simply encourage them to keep playing into October. Nobody wants that."
In other news, football will be starting soon.