6.25.2008

The Battle Continues

Continuing our Epic Saga of the Twins V.s. the Four Pitchers of The Apocalypse, when last we left our heroes they had just had their bacon saved by Matt Macri and Craig Monroe from the sneak attack proffered by Randy Johnson.

Macri came hobbling into camp supported by Monroe.

"Craig?" the valley resounded.

"Hey, I brought some oak smoked bacon I found on the trail," Monroe said.

"Oh, I've been looking for that,"said bacon conisseur Justin Morneau. Just then, grizzled old man Mike Lamb came into the Twins camp, his jittery legs and antiquated mannerisms belying his inner madness. 


"Jeeeeeeeeee-hosephat there fellers!" his whiney high pitched voice twittered, "Brandon
 Webb's a-ridin' into to town vowin' vengeance on whatever crummy crooker croaker cracked the crawdad of Crandy Cronson!!"

Only Mike Redmond, himself grizzled but civilized by regular appearances in the line-up, understood and tried to explain to Lamb, "Matt's hurt, and Craig...hey, where did Craig go?" (For Craig had vanished into the tree line again, for he was swift and stealthy and beginning to go through acorn withdrawal.)

"Gee-heeheeheeheheheeeeeee!" Lamb cackled, "t'aint no kinda rhubarbary gonna distract Webby-woo! He's the horseman a war...don't ya know?"

"What are we gonna do fellas?" cried little Brendan Harris.

"We'll do what Craig would do in this situation," replied the little heard and less listened to Delmon Young

"We're going to use acorns to fashion codpieces for ourselves?" asked Macri between gasps of pain.

"No, we'll use surprise, and distraction: WE'LL USE SURPRACTION!!"
"I prefer Distrise," Macri said meekly.

"Too late, I already said Supraction, so Supraction's what it's got to be."
***
Later that day, Brandon Webb came racing into the Domey Dale the Twins called home, growling in his grueling growl "Grrrrahhh grrrrngggg ghgggrrraaangh!" (Which is, in Arizonian: "Where is the opposing team of batters, so that I might destroy them.")

But Webb was much distressed for the Dale was empty: "Guh, grung guhgrrrraah!" ("Well, that's a surprise!"). Then did a ball shoot from a near by wood into the sky, and the ball was the same color as the sky and as Webb followed the trajectory of the ball he was much amazed to see that the ball could indeed have been the sky, or a cloud or anything at all.

And Webb said, "Gunh, grung guggarangh" ("Wow, that's a distraction!") And as he followed the flight of the ball he did not see Alexi Cassilla and Brian Buscher sneak up on either side of him, bat's poised and ready and after the ball landed at his feat the two batters swung simultaneously on Webb's head, thumping him mightily and besting another pitcher of the apocolypse.
Standing over the prone form of another opposing pitcher Young was heard to say: "That's Supraction, sucka!"

And thus was the second pitcher of the apocalypse bested.

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