Peanuts 101

If you're new to the site, and if you want to learn more about us, what we do, and WHY we do what we do, you're in the right place

First the most common questions we answer on a daily basis

Q: "Why are you bowling pins?"
A: We are not bowling pins. We are peanuts.
Q: "Even more importantly, why do you have tails?"
A: Because we are evil. Or plotting to take over the world. Possibly both.
Q: "And why from heaven?"
Stop asking silly questions.
Q: "Why are you Twins fans? Do you just like pain?"
A: We believe in miracles. We also believe that awesome baseball trumps just spending money on guys who can hit the ball really hard and really far. Also Gardy is the coolest person ever born and it's criminal that he hasn't won manager of the year for the work he's done with the Twins. It's amazing how much they still win with young players and a meager budget, and we here at PfH are confident that one of these years, they will win just a little bit more than everyone else. And even if they don't, we still love them.
Q: "How are you so totally awesome?"
A: Years of practice.

Now lets introduce some of our common terms and devices.

We have our own language here, so please peruse this glossary to help you understand things a little better.
Supraction--a combination of surprise and distraction that manages to overwhelm all manner of opponents. Think of it: you're playing a game, pitching, hitting, fielding, then all of a sudden one little crazy Minnesota things happens, you're surprised, you're distracted and your down by five runs. This is the fine art of supraction.
Clash of the Talking Heads--this is a series that analyzes announcers throughout baseball picking out the good, the bad, and the yawn-inducing. All announcers are rated on a scale of 0-5 Blylevens (in honor of Twins announcer/all-around amusing dude: Bert Blyleven)
Enemies--Our opponents during any given game
Loathing points--A completely random scoring system that determines who we like, and who we don't.
Frenemies--Teams we are not playing at this moment, that we might not love but that we don't utterly hate.
Yankpires--Frenemies does not apply to Yankees. Because, following a reading of the bookTwilight my inimitable co-blogger discovered that the Yankees may in fact be Vampires. If vampires run faster, jump higher and hit/throw harder than anyone else, and the yankees do the logically follows that the New York 9 is in cahoots with a dark league of evil.  We are opposed to dark leagues of evil.