Beware: Yankpires

As first reported here the New York Yankees are Vampires.

Evidence in support of this claim:
1) Vampires hit the ball farther than anyone else::The Yankees have a legacy of 500 home run hitters from Babe Ruth all the way up to Alex Rodriguez
2) Vampires throw the ball harder than anyone else (even Steve Austin the Five-Million-Dollar Man)::The Yankees pitching staff resembles nothing so much as a host of Five-Million-Dollar Men (or actually, approximately Fifteen-to-Twenty-two-Million-Dollar Men)
3)  Vampires run faster than anyone else::Seriously, you see where this is going.

Based on this the Yankees are clearly Vampires but to make it clear here is a host of photographic evidence

Exhibit A: Mark Texiera, CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett at their press conference upon becoming Yankees (January 2009)

Exhibit B: Derek Jeter, just doing what he does (June 2008)

Exhibit C: Reggie Jackson (circa 1977)

Exhibit D: Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle at a banquet celebrating their historic homerun chase (winter 1961)

Exhibit E: The Original Sultan of Sinister (date unknown)

When you put it all together, it all makes such frightening sense! Rest assured, gentle reader that we will continue to keep you abreast of all things Yankpire. Pointing out new members of their evil legion. Offering guidance on how to avoid a Yankee attack (it mostly involves Michael Cuddyer's dimples). Trust in us, and all will be well.

In trust and Twinsituity forever,
The Peanuts From Heaven