Minister of Excitement Proclaims "Opening Day!!"

Minister of Excitement Nolasco Proclaims Opening Day!

Also Proclaims Baseball's Awesome!! and Glory to Twins Territory!

News for the Consumption of the Loyal Population of Twins Territory

Chicago, USA

The newly independent state of Twins Territory has begun their campaign to bring the message of unity, equality and sideburned-based socialist paradises to the masses of Americans who still live in ignorance of their shackled existence.

Minister of Excitement Ricky Nolasco has proclaimed an Opening Day for all of Twins Territory and the adjacent lands, should they accept the greatness of baseball in their hearts. "Baseball's Awesome!!" Tweeted Minister Nolasco, "So pumped to be pitching for the glory of Twins Territory!!!"

The benevolence of Twins Territory's leaders will soon be on display for all America to see, beginning in the grim, dystopian hellscape known as Chicago. The great unwashed of the windblown city will be privileged to behold the glory of our marvelous leader Chairman Mauer, and his assorted Nine Stars of Excellence who take the field at his side every day. They might not always be the same stars, but they will immediately become stars simply by standing in proximity to the great and glorious leader.

First amongst the firmament of excellence today will be Minister Nolasco, who was drawn to Twins Territory for its lush green spaces and perfect temperatures as well as the chance to reform our world in a more perfect, Twins-like image. While his powers on the field of battle are prodigious, they are secondary to his powerful excitement and enthusiasm.

"Everybody's so great! And I know that with hard work and determination we will conquer the realms of the unbelievers and bring about the glorious morning of revolution in the hearts of even the dissolute and despairing! Also, there will be hotdogs!!!"

Added Minister Nolasco: "AWESOME!!!"

Start with a whimper, end with a bang

Before we get started we'd like to replay the analysis of the match up with the Angels conducted between Scruffy and our friend and Angels fan "LP"--conducted during a human developmental psychology course Monday night an hour before game time.

Scruffy: [Point to Delmon Young Jersey he's wearing, big thumbs up, knowing nod.]

LP: [Shakes head, points at jersey and mouths: "you're coming to LA, where it's hot, so you'll be all--" wipes non existent sweat off of forehead "--and--" pretends to pant and move walk very slowly in seat "--we'll win"]

I don't know about the heat...but I do know about the result...our pretty pretty princess melted in the face of Godzilla. Which is ultimately, not that surprising.

While our first game (and first loss) of the 2010 season may cause a good deal of consternation in the world wide interweb, we heavenly peanuts have decided to take a more zen approach to everything. We will yoga it up, take some deep breaths, calm ourselves and remember that, in the fullness of time, all will be well. (Of course, one could argue that being Zen didn't save Tokyo from Godzilla attacks--but Godzilla is to Tokyo what drunken frat-boys are to graduate students--doesn't mean that Tokyo/Graduate students haven't survived.) As always we trust in the power of poetry and therefore offer the following haiku to help all faithful Twins fans survive the initial despair of a shaky start:

First blooms catch the eye

Trampling steps, fire breath, many risks

Heaps of blooms this year

Um. OK.

So....we lost the opener. To the Mariners.
Not quite the glorious comeback we were all hoping for, but, as Scruffy so wisely said "You can't' win 'em all."

It's less depressing when I think of it this way:
It was one game, out of 162. Last year, our boys went 88-74, meaning that if we were going to equal last season's record, we still had a 45% chance of losing this game.


It's more depressing when I think of it this way:
We lost the opener. To the Mariners.


To make up for this extreme depression, I got a hot dog and covered it with ridiculous ammounts of various condiments, such that I could hardly hold it in my hands to eat it.

I also happened to notice that it was very cold last night. I began to ponder exactly how many layers I would have to wear in order to not freeze while sitting outdoors for 2-3 hours in this weather. Answer: enough to make me look like a small waddly marshmallow. So, there's that.

OK on to the important things. Analysis of our loss. Here is my assessment of the more significant problems we ran into last night:
- Squandered opportunities with buddies on base.
- Too much grounding out to first.
- Not enough base hits.
- Ken Griffey Jr.

If we can fix these smiple problems, we're good to go.

...ok so it might not be as easy as I make it sound, but C'mon guys! We can do it!!!!

I'd also like to give a shoutout to my official hero of the game: Mike Redmond. Right after getting beaned in the neck with a broken bat, he promptly hits a double - our only non-single hit of the game. Well done. Just...please don't be injured. We don't have another catcher. This is my plea to you Mike Redmond - please, please feel better. We cannot lose you.

T minus 4 days!!!!

A;KDJPQIOHA;SDKFJ!!!!! I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!
Baseball starts on Monday! Fortunately, my dad has tickets to opening day....unfortunately he only has two. Fortunately my mom is a kind soul and recognized that I would probably spontaneously combust if I didn't get to go, and shot my dad down so that he could invite me. So it all turned out well in the end.

In addition to kick-ass seats and season tickets, my dad also has this beautiful baby residing in his office:



I want to steal that thing in the worst way. I mean, I recognize that it's "real", and probably needs to be installed in the "new stadium", and that I probably would have to donate a ridiculous ammount of money plus my pinky toe and my first born child in order to actually own it...but couldn't we just bury it and say it was stolen by pirates...?



.......?

Anyways I digress.

Spring training was fun. I'm ashamed to admit though, that I wasn't really paying a whole lot of attention to the finer points of who was playing up to snuff and who was having an off-day, mainly because I was trying not to melt to my seat in the 90-degree heat with no breeze and no shade. I'm pretty sure I drank about five gallons of soda just to keep from dehydrating. But I did take a lot of photos that looked like this:



mmmm...............
Morneau......
I feel like I've gotten off track here......

Oh yeah baseball. Young played well - very well. He seems much more solid this year. The outfield selection was Young, Cuddyer and Span. I have a feeling this is how we'll start the season. Crede hit a home run, which almost dragged me fully onto the Crede bandwagon. But, he still needs to prove himself to me because I've been burned by one too many overhyped home run hitters, and I still need some time to heal. I still have nightmares about Rondell White (and I know, Rondell was no Cre-D!, but I'm still waiting to see definitive, consistent proof of awesomeness in the regular season).

On Monday (or more likely Tuesday since I'll probably fall asleep in the car on the way home on Monday) - PfH's first game recap of 2009!!!!