Shakin' it up

Go San Francisco woooooooooooooo.
And now that that's out of the way... OK just kidding, I love San Fran. I lived there for almost a year and I'm sure all my bay-area friends are freaking out with happiness, but secretly I was kind of rooting for the Rangers. I think being a Twins Fan has made me unable to not root for the underdog in any given situation (as evidenced by the fact that my honorary NL team is the Pirates... seriously).

Since it is now officially the offseason, I thought I should address the fact that there will probably be a LOT of changes on the Twins roster this offseason. What will our team look like next spring? And, more importantly, who will populate the cast of characters we both love and mock? Here's a glimpse of who could go (and some unsolicited opionions):
Jim Thome (aka The Smoke Monster): He is the only LOST reference on this blog. Plus he's just awesome, and he's a nice guy. I can totally picture him grilling burgers with my dad. Verdict - KEEP.
Carl Pavano (dirty-stache): On the one hand, his moustache looks like a dead rodent. On the other hand, he was nominated for an award because of said moustache, and also he's pretty good at baseball. Verdict - KEEP.
Jesse Crain (Ze Ubermensch): While I do love to make Nietzsche jokes every once in a while, and while Jesse Crain is an extremely nice dude, he also gives me a heart attack every time he walks to the mound. Verdict - Meh.
Matt Gurrier: I don't think he has a character on the blog actually (Scruffy please correct me if I'm wrong). But we do need someone in the bullpen, and he's not bad. Verdict - Meh.
John Rauch: He has a freaky neck tattoo, and if I never again see his bad-ass video on the big screen at Target Field, I might cry. Verdict - KEEP (hey, I never said my opinions were based on facts or rationale).

Kubel - sort of surprising, sort of unexpected. He didn't have a great year and although I love the dude, and he looks a lot like my friend John, both Scruffy and I were leaning towards "trade him."

Punto - sad, but not necessarily surprising or unexpected. Nick Punto is awesome... I have always been a fan, never a hater. I know he was on the DL twice this year, but if the organization is gong to keep someone around for that long, they can't do it out of friendship and good feelings forever...eventually they need to reinvest that money in someone who will produce. I get that. But I'm still hopeful he won't go.

What are your thoughts? We want to know!! Especially if your thoughts involve unicorns, cake, or other characters from LOST.

(and yes, I am in class right now. boom.)

Heavy Duty Hardware

As the playoffs role on, Stinky and I wanted to make a small shout out to a Twin who had a great season and deserves to take home an award that recognizes his superb contribution to not only Twins Territory but all of America. You can help him obtain this accolade by following the link below and casting your vote in recognition of his awesomeness:

VOTE CARL PAVANO FOR MUSTACHIOED AMERICAN OF THE YEAR!

It takes a great man to wear a psuedo-caterpillar on his upper-lip all year, to with stand the taunts and jeers of visiting teams and remain strong in the face of adversity. Carl Pavano did all that AND avoided the embarrassment of getting foodstuffs trapped in his lip jacket.

A Man, a Minnesotan, A Mustachioed Defender of Freedom!

Impressive

First off, kudos to the Twins for winning a game in under 2 hours, thereby avoiding the complications of a "Tornado Delay"--ahhh, outdoor baseball...what fun.

Second off, kudos to Carl Pavano for being cool enough in his own skin to sport that ridiculous mustache. I say this as a long time proponent/possessor of facial hair, I've even included a shout out to mustaches in my epic unpublished novel (cue the snickering):

I have long felt that any man who had a mustache was worth knowing. Anyone who, of his own free will, puts something so preposterous on his upper lip, clearly has dismissed the

importance of public approval. Once you do that, you are ready to take on truly epic challenges.

So, again kudos to you Carl and I will quote back up catcher Drew Butera when I say: "what better way to show love than a little mustache hug" Here now, my mustache hug for Carl Pavano (WARNING: THE PICTURE BELOW IS NOT SUITABLE FOR ALL AGES, INDIVIDUALS WITH HEART CONDITIONS OR THE LACTOSE INTOLERANT. OBSERVE AT YOUR OWN RISK)

Now let's return to sanity and root root root for the home team.