WOOT

Our apologies for not posting this weekend (internets and whatnot). Suffice it to say, it was a pretty good weekend. Friday let something to be desired, but as Stinky pointed out "we were bound to lose one eventually". Saturday was thrilling, but took so long that sleep conquered both the authors before Jim Thome took over the land of Cleve. And special Sunday thanks go out to the Knitting Queen who called me up with gleeful updates as O-Dog & Slo-Dog gave us a series win.

{Sidebar: Dear Twins, I would like to see a sitcom featuring the comical misadventures of Orlando Hudson & Kevin Slowey. It will be titled: O-Dog & Slo-Dog and it will be awesome. Thank you in advance, Scruffy Rube}

But this series victory brings us to a rather critical juncture in the season: 3 games in the South Side of Chicago against our closest rival. I'm sure that most people are already crunching the various permeutations of potential out comes (games-ahead, magic numbers, etc.); and while it's true that we can't lose first place, we can sure lose the momentum we've built up since losing three in Texas (going 12-3 is pretty nice).

This is one of my favorite parts of baseball. While other sports have more playoff spots to fight over, the teams involved rarely play games of consequence against eachother in the final weeks. Head-to-head contests in football might not happen between contending teams in different divisions, and in basketball you've got so many teams in the post-season that you need to be truly mediocre to be in danger of missing out...ooh! mediocrity, how dramatic!

But for the Twins, we will spend the next 20 days playing 19 games against 6 teams. While 5 of those teams may want to beat us for a psychological boost going into the offseason (or, in the case of Detroit, just to be mean) the Chicago White Sox have a vested interest in beating the snot out of us, stealing our mojo and ruining our dreams of Target Field in autumnal glory. I won't say "the division is on-the-line" but I will say that "the champion of our regional subzone of the American League may point to this series as crucial to their success" (cliches are silly).

But as geeked up as I am, we will have to wait one whole day to find out what happens next. So until then, send good vibes, take deep breaths, and watch a potential teaser trailer for O-Dog & Slo-Dog (at the bottom of this post).

Why the Winter Meetings Will be like the Indianapolis 500

Because, while it takes forever, we'll finish up exactly where we started.

Apologies for not getting this posted yesterday, 'twas in our brains...but so were papers, presentations and a confusingly contradictory note from our landlords. So while this post has been in gestation for a couple days it is only now making it onto the page/screen. I trust you have all endured despite it.

In fact, I'm sure you have because baseball writers salivate over this week, they worship it, they conjecture and prognosticate and imagine all kinds of delightful scenarios where the big free agents sign, all-stars get traded, beautiful women announce their undying love for them, and they get the rest of the winter off to luxuriate on a beach sipping Mai Tai's rather than skulking about the lobbies of an Indianapolis hotel tweeting anonymous chatter about people with names like "Ryan Doumit" and "Jose Valverde".

However, they, like most fans, end up imagining magic and gettin

g little more than frostbite. Yet they still have fun, and they still provide plenty of entertainment in their gossip mongering (why else would I read said tweets when I should be writing final papers?). One thing I've noticed is that writers seem to be contractually obligated to come up with some sort of goofy metaphor to make their preview of the winter meetings, so in that spirit here are 500 things for Twins to look for during this week

1. Carl Pavano gets arbitartion. (HEY LOOK IT ALREADY HAPPENED!)--We realize that we here at Peanuts from Heaven have not really gotten into the whole Carl Pavano thing...I was moving, Stinky started business school, he pitched...we didn't have photoshop which was fine because he didn't seem like he'd be here for

very long...and besides, we already had Or-Land-O' Lakes! We didn't need to be fond of Pavano. Yet...it appears that he will be back, which is fine, I guess...he likes it Minnesota, he pitched well in the postseason, and he inspires raw hatred within the New York Yankees...so that has to be good. Welcome back Carl, we will try to come up with your photoshop identity before next season.

2. We sign a veteran pitcher whose name does not start with a "C" and end with an "arl Pavano"-- Yeaaaaaaahhh...probably not going to happen....Stinky and I wanted to see Pedro Martinez come to town (he would be a veteran, in a place he could win, AND entertain us now that Gogo is gone), but he's 1) a potential hall of famer (read, really expensive) and 2)old, so he would like to stay in the less awesome National League rather than face AL bats. *Side note, I saw Pedro pitch in rookie league baseball in Great Falls Montana...would that I could see him end his career too.

3. We sign a veteran hitter--Since Pavano resigned that suggests that there's not much money out there, which suggests that contracts will drop, which suggests that we've got a chance to sign somebody with some experience, ability and wisdom (like Mark DeRosa or Randy Winn) to help us out. Assuming agents aren't greedy...which is a little like assuming that the Yankees aren't hoping that Joe Mauer fails to sign a contract.

4. The Chairman Resigns--Probably not. They haven't started talking yet. They need to talk in order to agree on anything. But maybe, just maybe, the great and noble chairmen will realize how foolish the quest for wealth is and return to catch in exchange for some magic beans.

5-500. JACK SQUAT!!--Let's be honest, we're the Minnesota Twins. We develop young players, we cease to be able to afford said young players, said young players leave and we fill the hole before the next player emerges by signing Tony Fat-ista, and Sidney Fatso-ne. Also, remember, we have Bill Smith as our GM. A nice guy in a world filled with jerkwads. The jerkwads impress the pretty lady free agents, Bill Smith ends up alone with Nick Punto. This is what our lot in life is. And truth be told, if it costs roughly the gross domestic product of Bermuda to sign a bench warmer, I'm going to guess Bill Smith has his priorities in the right place.

I reached 500, this means I have to go to work, doesn't it?

(Single tear rolls down Scruffy's hairy, hairy face)

FINALLY - a win...

Stupid baseball - raising my hopes and then beating them to a pulp again.
I'd like to raise what I feel are some important questions:
1) Why does our pitching suck?
2) Why did we allow the Angels to score 35 billion runs?
3) Are Questions 1 and 2 in fact the same question?

I think one thing was missing in the equation of our series against the Angels - Torii Hunter. I think he helps us win, no matter what team he's playing for. Last year, he missed a catch in a very un-Torii-like way, and I swear...SWEAR TO GOD... I saw him wink.

...OK, that may have not actually happened. I might have made it up.

Point being, this weekend sucked.

Moving on, last night did not suck. Everyone got a hit except for Nick Punto - I guess whoever was handing out the hitting party invitations forgot to give him one.

And now, for our guest bloggers - Keeler and Herbie. They don't know they're guest bloggers, but I'm recapping a conversation the three of us had yesterday, to represent two sets of opinions on the Cabrera trade:
KEELER: See - we should have gotten a pitcher. Everyone else got pitchers!
HERBIE: True, we need more pitching - but who was even left to trade for?
KEELER: White Sox got Jake Peavy.
HERBIE:.... who might not even pitch until September. And he cost a lot. And he's old.
STINKY: Plus, if we end up getting rid of Crede, then we can play Harris at 3rd, Punto at 2nd and Cabrera at short, so we'll still have a solid infield.
KEELER: ...but our pitching is terrible.
HERBIE and STINKY: ...yeah. I know.

AND IN CONCLUSION: Cabrera's good. Our pitching currently sucks. LNP needs an invitation to the hitting party stat. Maybe someone mistakenly gave his invitation to Carlos.

p.s. All my future dogs will be named Carlos.