10.03.2011

Root, Root Root for...? (Our Extremely Biased Guide to the Postseason)

Well, we're a few days into the playoffs but better late than never! We know you've been waiting with bated breath for us to instruct you as to who you should cheer for in the post season...but we're not going to. Instead, we are going to make logical (hah) pro and con lists for each matchup, tell you where our hearts lie, and let you pick from there.


ALDS: TEXAS V. TAMPA


Rangers - PROS
- Everything's bigger in Texas...so...make of that what you will.
- I dare you to find a cooler name than Yorvit Torrealba.
- Josh Hamilton
Rangers - Cons
- I really have nothing against the Rangers, but I traveled to Dallas once for work and wasn't a huge fan.
- ...it's Texas.


Rays - Pros
- I know they're this big power hitting team now, but in my mind the Rays will always be the ultimate underdogs, which makes them cool in my book.
- Their late-season run to eliminate the Red Sox was quite glorious, and very Twins-Circa-2006. Reminds me of when times were good.
- They play in an incredibly ugly dome, which also reminds us of good times.
Rays - Cons
- Johnny Damon


Verdict:
This one's kind of a toss-up. I think I'd feel good either way - but for some reason my heart seems to lie with Tampa.


ALDS: NYY Vs. Detroit


Yankees - Pros
- I'm super excited for the Verlander/Sabbathia matchup tonight after being cruelly robbed of it on Friday.
- Derek Jeter
- Mariano Rivera
Yankees - Cons
- Nick Swisher
- A-Rod
- Smug and obnoxious Yankees fans
- Emperor Palpatine
- Lord Voldemort


Tigers - Pros
- AL Central Solidarity
- Delmon Young... that trade made no sense to me, and I miss my Delmon. I hope he gets a better shot with Detroit than he did with us.
- Justin Verlander
Tigers - Cons
- I make fun of Tigers fans all year (except this year)... it's hard to go from cheering against them to cheering for them
- Detroit


Verdict:
As my dad would say, "Go Delmont!!" I wish to see him prance to a World Series Victory. Go forth and prosper, Detroit Tigers.





NLDS: St. Louis Vs. Philly


Cardinals - Pros
- Albert Pujols
- Nick Punto
- We visited St. Louis on our baseball road trip two years ago: it's a nice city and the fans seem like cool people.
Cardinals - Cons
-.... I honestly can't think of any




Phillies - Pros


- Delicious Cheese Steak


- My friend Lewis lives there


- Amazing pitching rotation of awesomeness


Phillies - Cons
- I once got lost in Philly trying to get back on the highway after stopping for a cheese steak. It was miserable - we were lost for probably an hour and got stuck in ridiculous traffic. You fail, city of Philedalphia.
- High payroll. Pinstriped jerseys. Eastern division domination. Remind you of anyone else we know?


Verdict:
I'm gonna go with St. Louis, more because of how much I like the Cardinals than because of any bad feelings towards the Phillies.




NLDS: Milwaukee vs. Arizona

Brewers - Pros
- Prince Fielder
- Ryan Braun
- If you haven't heard Bob Uecker call a game, you're missing out
- Neighborly love
- New Glaurus
- Cheese
Brewers - Cons
- Neighborly hate
- Constant drunkenness: we also went there on our baseball road trip and saw people passed out on the concourse.
- Strange phallic hot dog races

D-Backs - Pros
- Scrappy young underdog of the NL
- I dunno...I'm generally a positive person
- ...that's about it really.
D-Backs - Cons
- D-Backs sounds suspiciously like D-Bags?
- Douchey Fans: D-Backs hit a home run over Ben Revere's head and a fan yelled "YOU SUCK REVERE!!" When interviewed after the game and asked what he had yelled the fan proudly repeated the sentiment. So apparently Ben Revere sucks for not owning a jet pack? Bad form, D-Backs fans.

Verdict:
We'll give our support to the cheeseheads next door!

Well, that's all we have for now. If you'll excuse me I have to try to stop the cat from eating Ben's tie and shirt buttons.

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