Of course, while lots of people will tell you what happened, only we Peanuts can tell you what happened...in our imagination!
Tigers 4-Twins 2
When the game time temperature is 33 degrees, you tend to assume it's late October...or that you're playing in Nome. That temperature scared most players into bundling up, but our own resident Wild Vanimal, Vance Worley, went out hurling in his shirt sleeves. After struggling in the early innings, numbness set in and Worley was able to do his job effectively.
However the offense was somewhat lacking, as only our great and glorious Chairman Joe Mau...er picked up hits off Tigers' ace/opening day starter/video-game-cover-boy/beloved boyfriend of supermodels everywhere: Justin Verlander. Said Chairman Mauer of his continued hostilities with the Detroit Righty "We shall not allow the Tiger pups' imperial aggression to stand. Strikeouts are capitalist thievery of our people's glorious love of hitting. Our vengeance for today's defeat shall be swift and permanent!"
|(Also...our nuclear reactor is totally connected to the power grid)|
Twins 3-Tigers 2
|Correia before the post-game|
buffet of tin cans
Following Monday's pledge from the chairman, the Twin fans approached Wednesday's game slightly warmer, but much more hesitant to cheer (as evidenced by the scant 22,000 people who paid...and even fewer who turned up). This might well be attributed to your favorite scapegoat and mine: Kevin Correia who couldn't even stink as terribly as we all thought he would when signed over the winter, becoming the second Twin pitcher to have a quality start in as many games.
Still, the Twins trailed after Correia left the game and continued to do so until the 9th inning when Eduardo Escobar (who?) hit a double off the wall in left. Escobar (him, you sure?) delivered the tying and winning runs to allow the local team to celebrate in grand style. Some of them even congratulated Escobar (really, him?) even though they occasionally called him "Pedro" or "Alexei" by accident.
Twins 8-Tigers 2
With a record above .500 there's for the taking, it was widely assumed that the Twins would lose and lose horribly to keep order in the universe. This did not happen.
So now that we have a chaotic universe, does it really matter that Mike Pelfry pitched well in his first start since Tommy John surgery? (both runs were unearned) Now that the randomness of genetic inanity will lead to fish flying and birds swimming, does it really matter that Josh Willingham and Trevor Plouffe both homered? With black turning into white and Keannu Reeves inheriting the title of "Greatest Actor Ever", should we really care that Aaron Hicks got his first base hit and Ryan Pressley got his first strikeout?
Logically the answer should be no...but since there is no order in the universe logic is for suckers and yes! HUZZAH FOR THE TWINS!!
To wrap up, we'll pass out a few awards, because, honestly, they'll probably be some of the only awards we win this year.
Our Mr. Peanut (Best Player of the Series): Justin Morneau (consistent hitting, getting on base and fishing innumerable Pedro Florimon throws out of the dirt)
Our Nutty Buddy (Player who needs a little support): Chris Parmelee (the heir apparent to Morneau's spot in the order had a rougher start: 1 for 10 with 5 Ks, but he did catch Torii Hunter on a throw to third)