Dog Days: You Guys are Weird

I SEE YOU READING THIS CAT!!

Hello again.

I am Sidney the Dog. And I am writing the August posts for my humans. They are training to run 10 miles. They are weird.

I have noticed that many humans are weird. If you are a human who is reading this, think about it. (But if you are a cat on a human's lap reading this...HEY! STOP BEING A CAT!! BE A DOG!!! DOGS ARE BETTER!!!)

Anyway, think about it: you humans look at a number of glowy things all day long. You watch them very carefully and the things on them make you laugh and cry and shout things. That seems weird. I don't laugh or cry or shout...well except at cats (HEY CAT READING THIS!! I SAID STOP BEING A CAT!!). My humans say it's wierd I pee on so many things...but what is weirder: getting emotional over things on glowy boxes or using urine to claim ownership of things you care about?

You humans don't show you care about things by peeing on them...you show it by being emotional. You care about eachother. You care about what you see on the glowy things. And you care about fluffy things like me. You are loyal to things you love. Thats why my humans are always together, and why they watch their glowy things even when it makes them mad or makes them cry, and why they pet me even after I pee on their carpets*.

*(I just wanted to make sure any visiting dog knows that I own the carpet. Just to make sure no one takes it away. It's a good carpet. And it is mine.)

Justin Morneau...who is not as cute as me

My humans are loyal to the Twins too. My lady human likes Justin Morneau very much.  She whoops when he hits home runs and says "it's okay" when he strikes out. Sometimes, when my hairy human is not around, she says he is cute. But she says I am the cutest. So that's okay.

But she is very nervous. She says she hopes Justin does not get traded. I don't understand trading. Why would you send something you like away for something new. I would never "trade" my carpet. It is a good carpet, and I have marked it as mine.

But my hairy human says it would be okay if they traded Justin to some place he could win. He wants Justin to do well and says Justin cannot do it with the Twins right now. And trading Justin, he says, will help the Twins later. He likes Justin too, so he wants Justin to be happy.

I suppose if my carpet wanted to go somewhere else I would let it. But c'mon...it's a carpet...it just lies there being soft and easy to sleep on and smelling like me.

You humans care so much about so many things. I only care about the things I pee on. And the things I chew on. And my humans. And the humans my humans care about...I guess I care about a lot of things too. I guess I am weird too.

I know that lots of the humans who write these baseball blog things, write about the good and the bad about trading the Twins. I don't know about that. I'm just a little puppy. I suppose a starting left hander with upside in A Ball (probably between 19 and 21) and/or an upper level corner infielder with an established glove (no less than +5 UZR rating over the last two-three seasons to mentor Sano and others) would be ideal, if a little wishful given the market restraints and the limited time remaining in the season. But what do I know? I'm just a little puppy.

I know that as much as humans who like baseball can dream about trades, none of us will make a trade happen (especially me, because I am a dog). Just because you think about it does not make you not care about players you have always liked, and just because you worry that the trade will happen does not make you not care about the team getting better.

Will accept trade offers for
the human on the right

You care about things, and you think about giving up the things you care about. You guys are weird. I would never trade my humans. I care about them, and they care about me, and we are all weird together.


Though, I suppose...if any blogger wants my hairy human and is willing to trade me three months worth of steaks and my own personal extra comfy carpet...I may be willing to reconsider that...it better not have another dog's pee on it though.

Bye for now...I'm going to lie on my carpet.

Sidney the Dog