3.09.2010

Dread Pirate in Peril!

OK - I trying not to panic too much. But come on...seriously...when you hear the words "Joe Nathan trying to avoid season-ending surgery," one's first instinct is pretty much to give up hope on the world and retreat into a land of listening to emotionally-riddled Celine Dion songs and eating pint after pint of ice cream.

But I don't want to do that. Primarily because it isn't quite ice cream weather yet.

So I did the logical thing, and made a list of best-and worst-case scenarios.

Best:
- Joe Nathan's elbow is magically repaired by Harry Potter and/or Gandalf.
- Joe Mauer, realizing that the Twins have access to magical healing powers, immediately signs a gazillion year contract.
- The Twins win the world series for at least 6 years in a row.
- After 6 years of winning they start to feel a bit like World-Series Monopolists, and magnanimously decide to let the Pirates win one.
- World Peace immediately follows.

Worst:
- Nathan needs surgery.
- In his absence, we reverse our Milwaukee trade to bring Carlos back, and put him in as our closer, because why not?
- Carlos's pitches become a massive funnel cloud which engulfs Target Field and most of downtown Minneapolis.
- The Yankees take over the world.
- Everything sucks.

Needless to say, I'm really hoping for the scenario that does not involve surgery or evil vampires taking over the world. I also really like wizards.

I'm also pretty sure DP Nathan enjoys adorable puppies, so here's hoping he sees this and his elbow is mended by cuteness:

5 comments:

  1. If we wanted to be absolutely sure that Nathan felt better we could always dress that adorable puppy up in Wizard clothes. (That also works on floundering economies)

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  2. Garrrrrr. The Dread Pirate shall come back!!!!!! If not John Rauch becomes Dread Pirate Rauch?

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  3. i really hope rauch doesn't take over Nathan's role if he's out for the whole year. That would make me sad.

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  4. Agreed! I'm voting for Matty G.

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  5. so what is the matter with john rauch..as an outsider just comparing stats and what i hear from the "baseball" experts like the bbtn guys rauch seems to be the closer in waiting. just wondering why you'd say he was a d bag Betsy on your blog about rauch!

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