So we missed out on all the hubbub about Nick Punto Day, which means we missed out on the opportunity to get some pub on the Star Tribune, which means that, once again, we are writing to our loyal readers--HI MOM!
But, since we have a blog, we are turning up a little bit late to the Nick Punto Day Party, uninvited and with an extra dish of spinich/artichoke dip to make the last few minutes as awkward as possible.
So, what is there to say about Nick Punto that has not already been said? There are all kinds of numbers and UZRs and WARs and PEIHPOIIs* that can tell you how good a baseball player Nick Punto is, and if you like you can click that link up there and see them all again. If you prefer you can check out the kind of stuff we think you should look at and read the brilliance of our buddies at Those Girls, and For the Love... but we here at Peanuts from Heaven will focus instead on these two factoids.
1) Nick Punto appreciated my mustache. I think I've told this story before, but back before I was not exiled to the barren wasteland of Ohio, I worked at a Steakhouse where Twins players often came. Nicky P came in after a mother's day game with his wife and son, and I, while working the door, tried to play it cool and just show "Mr. Punto" to his table. Show him I did, and on the way Nicky P says to me, he says "are you growing your mustache for charity?" "Yes, yes I am Mr. Punto" (because I was), "I work with that charity, thanks for doing that...it looks good." "Thanks Mr. Punto.
Behold said mustache: and the veracity of Nick Punto's aesthetic judgements.
2) It is president's day which is a time to celebrate the one other profession where height does not equate to talent--politics! And the fact that Nicky P, has two whole inches on President #2 of our great land...John Adams.
This is not the only connection between Nicky P and President Adams...oh no. They are both Scorpios, the US population under Adam's presidency was a little more than 5 million, which is about the same as Nicky P's contract option for 2011, and both men have been known to eat dirt. Punto does it because it is the natural side effect of sliding into first base, Adams did it because he had a compulsion for Geophagy--or the eating of earth. This scandal was brought to light in a series of negative ads from 1800 Election rival Thomas Jefferson who smeared Adams with the taunt: "Verily, I may be slinging mud, but at least I am not eating it!"
So forget the stats and the figures and the numbers, the true greatness of Nick Punto comes in two forms. 1--Appreciation of mustaches, 2--similarity to John Adams. (Also, pluck, grit and a secret element on the periodic table known only as Scrappium.)
*If you don't know these stats they stand for Ulitmate Zone Ratings (UZRs) and Wins Against Replacements (WARs) and Please Everyone Ignore How Pointless This Information Is (PEIHPOIIs)