This is great news for us as both Twins fans and snarky bloggers. It not only gives our team a potent right handed bat off the bench and helps us avoid the soul-sucking morass of signing Manny Ramirez or Johnny Damon, but also allows us to pluck the low hanging fruit of ageism. To wit:
- Jim Thome's so old, when he draws a walk, he goes to first base on his rascal
- Jim Thome's so old, he celebrated the Twins playoff berth with a big glass of Ensure.
- Jim Thome's so old, he thought Carl Pohlad was an ornery whippersnapper.
But seriously, I only make those terrible terrible jokes because I am very fond of Mr. Thome, and I show my appreciation through playful mockery rather than overzealous regurgitation of stats and stories. Thanks for choosing us Jim-bo, you're a gentleman, a scholar, and a damn fine hitter if ever there was one. If you take offense to my lame jokes, I will try to be insightful next season...I probably won't be insightful...but I'll try.