Gains from Trade

As we learned in Economics 101, both parties in a trade should feel as if they are gaining something. This has almost nothing to do with what I'm about to write but I figured I should at least try to establish some credibility before writing something totally ridiculous, so I threw some economics terms around to make myself sound smart.

After tonight's game, we can't help but wonder - when will Dread Pirate Nathan finally get sick of this, yell "ARRRR!" and swashbuckle Capps down into the briny sea with the Kraken?

After one tweeter posted something along the lines of "The Twins should trade Matt Capps for a handful of those Subway 50-cents off a 6 inch sub coupons," we wondered what else would be a fair trade for our ninth-inning-disaster-maker.

TOP 10 THINGS WE SHOULD TADE MATT CAPS FOR

1) A rock - rocks are useful as doorstops and paperweights, and they don't generally blow saves.

2) One Peanut M&M - Peanut M&M's are amazing - one might actually be too much.

3) Michelle Bachman - it would get her out of politics, and she probably has a secret 95mph fastball.

4) A Minty Toothpick from Rudolph's BBQ - those are some good toothpicks

5) Shah-Ruk Kahn - A trade for the gloried Bollywood star would definitely be weighted heavily in our favor, but Shah-Ruk could really help the team with his impeccable hair, sexy dance moves and boyish vulnerability. Win!

6) Some pocket lint

7) The chance to punch the Klondike Bar ad executive in the face

8) A Backstreet Boys CD - I've been having a hankering to listen to "I Want it That Way" but my copy is missing.

9) Magic Beans - hopefully the previous owners would not recognize their magic properties, and we would get the chance to climb a beanstalk and steal some golden shin guards from Joe Mauer.

10) Pavano's Moustache - we want it back

... in all seriousness though, I have to give props to Gardy for sticking up for his players. Even though I don't always agree with him, I do always respect him.