WWFFS?

If you saw our twitter feed yesterday (or on the right hand nav there) you'll see that we went to Target Field yesterday...and not just Target Field...an Event Suite in Target Field.

While this was probably a one time occurrence (unless a lottery ticket pays off or we write the great American novel in our spare time, it was absolutely amazing to sit back and soak up the joys of a day at the ballpark, with friends, family and 40,000 fellow fans. As if it wasn't enough to appreciate all that, we got to do it from an air conditioned box with plenty of hot dogs, complimentary popcorn and more cookies & brownies than even a rampaging horde of teenagers could consume.

This, my brother Simon would tell you is America at it's best. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Watching TC bounce around the field in his Uncle Sam gear, and cheering Brian Duensing's surprising shut-out (not to mention Danny & Cuddy's long-ball-a-palooza), left me to wonder...what would the founding fathers say [WWFFS] if they could see how we celebrate independence today?

Then I imagined this conversation in the seats around me:

George Washington: I cannot tell a lie! This is totally awesome!!

James Madison: True General! Who would have thought that our humble nation would expand thus westward, stretch yea skyward, and develop diversions so rapturous as to ensorscle the mind and senses?

Thomas Jefferson: I would have...I bought this place.

James Madison: Thomas, just because you bought Lousiana doesn't mean you bought...

Thomas Jefferson: Excuse me? I knew that our ever expanding populace would need more land to exercise their freedom and liberty. Therefore I purchased this land from Napoleon, therefore people explored and settled on it, therefore I am responsible for all of this awesomeness that you see...me...myself...I.

James Madison: But...

Thomas Jefferson: T-JEFF IN THE HOUSE!!!

George Washington: Who is that grandfatherly chap who keeps drinking milk on yon jumbotron? He exudes the fortitude of character and strong bones of natural leader.

Thomas Paine: That is Ronald Gardenhire, General. I should know...he is also a man of Common Sense! Ha HaHA! Ha.......Dost thou get my jest?!?

George Washington: Of course Thomas, but pray, don't be that dude, the Adamses are bad enough.

John Adams & Sam Adams: [Drunkenly staggering around] Red SAAWWWWXXXXX!!!! $*%& YOU DAMON!!! $*%&ING TRAITOR!!! BIG PAPI'D KICK YER AAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!

John Adams: Get anudder beeeear Sammy.

Sam Adams: You get it...I made it...

John Adams: I was President...

Sam Adams: Yeah...fer just FOUR YEARS!! [John and Sam Adams start fighting]

George Washington: My but it's fun to watch that Revere lad run, wouldn't you say?

James Madison: Indeed sir, I wonder if he's any relation the Boston silversmith?

Thomas Paine: Unlikely James, Mr. Revere had an altogether different complexion

Thomas Jefferson: Yeah...they couldn't possibly be distantly related through forbidden love...

John & Sam Adams: Paul Revere's a #*%&!#_%&%!#%*^!@*&$^!@*%&

James Madison: OH MY! Did you see that play by Master Cuddyer! He leapt like an antelope and snared it with inestimable grace!

Thomas Jefferson: Indeed, it was rather impressive...though not quite as impressive as my invention of the dumbwaiter, which inspired the elevator which brought our fine catered meal to us this evening!

Thomas Paine: Thomas...

Thomas Jefferson: Do you doubt me? Have you forgotten that my quill coined the phrases that we honor this day? Have you forgotten that I begat the public university system from whence our youths have continuously developed their wisdom and the architectural schema of this very coliseum? What have you done to led our nation to this moment, T-Paine, other than write a dull pamphlet and invent auto-tuning?

Thomas Paine: Actually...that was the other T-Pain.

Thomas Jefferson: I thought so...now if you'll excuse me...[walks towards next box] Hello ladies, you can call me T-Jeff, what digits might I use to call you?

James Madison: It's okay, Thomas, you know T-Jeff...he's...well...

Ben Franklin: He certainly is. Now come men, you should eat more of these fine Hessian sausages. I had expected more Francophile cuisine to survive through the ages. But apparently the French, like my aphorisms, stink after 200 hundred years or so. What say you General Washington?

George Washington: I swear this Thome fellow used to deliver my morning news when he was a lad!

In case it's not clear from this rather silly set of dialogue, I'm a big nerd who not only loves baseball but also American history, and gently ribbing the founding fathers (they didn't want to be kings or nobles, I think they'd allow it).