7.21.2011

Mr. Clutch

For the first time in 6 years the Twins won two games based on game-winning RBI's by the same player delivered after the 7th inning. The last player to do this was Jacque Jones, today it is Danny Valencia. While I'm well aware that statisticians and serious baseball writers insist that there is no such thing as "Clutch" hitting. Good and bad hitters will hit at the same rate with runners on base, with bases empty, with no outs, with two outs, with a two run lead, trailing by four, in the second inning or the twenty-second. This, is probably true.

But things that are true belong on other blogs, we prefer the impractical, illogical, imagined dream of the game--if only because that's the kind of game that we find most enjoyable. So while others will tell you not to get too excited about Danny V's sudden surge of timely hitting, we want you to buy in...and hopefully buy this product that Danny himself would like to introduce...Danny?


Thank you Peanuts--I'm proud to use this setting to announce my new, and utterly chimerical business venture. And to do so, I'm going to ask you readers to hear my words swoon off the screen as I whisper them gruffly and look broodingly into the camera.

Twins fans, they say that clutch doesn't exist; they say it is a foolish dream; they say it's a figment of your imagination.

They are wrong.

Sure, there's no mathematical equation for clutch...but there is a chemical one...and it can be yours as it has always been mine.
Peanuts from Heaven is proud to introduce

CLUTCH

The new fragrance by Danny Valencia

Available next to Dumbledore's Powdered Unicorn Horn at all Peanut From Heaven Superstores


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