It was a transformative moment for our nation, overcoming centuries of oppression and small mindedness.
And then...I found out the truth.
President-Elect Obama...is a Chicago White Sox fan.
A Chicago White Sox fan who delivered a speech lauding the Sox after they won the World Series.
A Chicago White Sox fan who hates the Cubbies fair weather faithful, and prefaces any placating of swing state voters by saying: "I am a White Sox fan"
A Chicago White Sox fan who now controls the nuclear missile codes and could give out tax breaks to anyone who sings a contract to play for the pale hosers.
Twins Territory is in jeopardy my friends. Our values of silliness and hit-and-run baseball are under assault from the austere and home-run obsessed White Sox World we now live in.
What will come next? Will we be shipped off to Guantanamo and "re-educated"? Will the nefarious Dr. Cakeburn be brought up on charges of high treason? Will there be a ban placed on all garden gnomes and a classification of Supraction as terrorist activity?
Ultimately this forces us to ask the question. Which loyalty leads the way: are you an American first or a Twins Fan first? Do you owe more to Twins Territory, or to the U. S. of A?
So I pose it to you, our MILLIONS* of fans and fellow Twins Territorians, what do we do? Post your suggestion as a comment on this blog, whether its secession from the union or outright war, let's hear it.
The best suggestions will win a limited edition Peanuts From Heaven Christmas Surprise, and lifetime membership in the Peanuts from Heaven Infinity Club. Raise your voice, and raise your status.
*approximation based on what I wish was true