Covering up the Sex Bomb

From ESPN: "Major League Baseball officials have asked internet sites to remove racy photographs of Cleveland Indians center fielder Grady Sizemore. Sizemore said the photos--one of them showing him nearly nude--were stolen from his girlfriend's e-mail account and posted online"

Now, we admit that we have not always been Mr. Sizemore's biggest fans. We have, in the past, suggested that he bears a striking resemblance to the nefarious Queen of the Night from Mozart's Die Zoberflote. We know that Mr. Sizemore, as a tenor, would not be able to sing this part, and insinuating that he could is insensitive to the fine women who could play Queen of the Night and might now have to face Mr. Sizemore at auditions for various opera companies. We apologize to all singers in all shapes and sizes, to Mozart and to Mr. Sizemore himself.

But this does not address the sad truth that Grady Sizemore is being ogled on the interweb. That is not cool internet users, not cool! I understand that when you're a public figure you open yourself up to scrutiny, but when you're a dude attempting a little romance, you should be given a little leniency. I mean, all the guys who are posting this don't have their suggestive commentary examined in detail by the public at large, nor can I imagine any situation in which I would want to know what Travis from Topeka says in a noisy bar when he's a little drunk and a lot lonely.

C'mon people, let's have some class, let's have some dignity, let's PHOTOSHOP Grady Sizemore's head onto Tom Jones' body. (Unless this offends Mr. Jones, in which case we'll settle for Donny Osmond.) If you're going to look at Grady Sizemore, at least have the ethical decency to look at him like this--with a silly curly pompadour rather than in his birthday suit. I realize that this moral pontification might not change a cotton-pickin' thing, but I felt obliged to stand up for the poor guy, and to let him know that even if the rest of the world ignores his pleas for privacy, we here at Peanuts from Heaven will stand by him on behalf of the AL Central, responsible, ethical bloggerdom and lovers of "What's New Pussycat?"

Groove on Grady Sizemore, Groove on.

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