11.28.2009

Things we Want and Awards we Got

There has been much discussion of late regarding which positions we should try to fill during the offseason.
Most people think we need a veteran pitcher, to fill the gaping hole in our starting rotation left by Kevin Slowey, Glen Perkins, Francisco Liriano and...pretty much we don't have a starting rotation. So I see their point.

HOWEVER.

We think that instead of a *veteran* pitcher, we would suggest a *cool* pitcher. A *nerdy* pitcher. Someone who can get us in good with the current political administration. I am speaking of course, about this guy. The loudmouth commenters who write on ESPN may not agree with our logic, but we think he has several things going for him:

1) He plays for the Pirates. We like the Pirates.
2) He's a big nerd, and would rather spend his offseason as a government intern than playing video games and doing keg stands (not that i'm stereotyping or anything).
3) Having lost the Master Librarian to the dark bowels of AAA ball, we need someone to fill the sophistication gap in our roster. Someone with class and dignity. Someone who looks good in black and white and who can lounge seductively across a stack of books. I think we've found our man.

Also, we are proud to once again announce the following awards from the National Organization to Reward Electronic Arts and Literature (this following our impressive haul last year)

192nd most exclamation marks in history of bloggerdom (Spots 1-191 belong to Glen Beck)

27th most gratuitous copyright infringement.

18th best new public service campaign: For the Running is Stupid efforts of Jason Kubel.

3rd best reappropriation of classical literature for totally unrelated purposes.

Best use of Mozart in a Baseball Blog

And WORST BLOG EVER...if you're a Yankpire.

(And as a personal award: Bestest Road Trip EVER!)

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