The Road Trip: In Photoshop

For anyone who would prefer an account of our road trip with fewer words and more pictures: consider this for you.

We began on the road to Milwaukee. And while we had high hopes for a Twins win to kick off our tour, we instead ran into Brewers Announcer Brian Anderson whose predictions continually went wrong...earning him the title: NOT-STRADAMUS

But at the game the next day we were filled with hope. Until we saw the massive frame of Prince Fielder, who tied the game with a big home run. We wondered how a vegetarian could be so fat, until we realized that souls do not contain meat...so Prince Fielder probably devours souls of his opponents.
One soul that Prince could never devour is that of our plucky lead off hero, Denard Span. And what we like about Denard...he really knows how to dance (particularly around the base paths and mid slide:After Denard danced over the Brewers, the Twins headed south to St. Louis, for the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny between Joe Mauer--the be-sideburned god of the Upper Midwest, and Albert Pujols--the Uni-browed Diety of the Lower Midwest. They would face-off once and for all...literally:
Mauer and his boys took 2 out of 3, but Pujols impressed us, even from a distance, evoking the kind of fear you feel when a lion charges you down in the savannah:
Or...maybe it was a panther from Thunderia?
Whatever the case: Albert was a bad ass, but he was also defeated. And as we drove across I-70 to St. Louis we wondered whether or not the sexy babe mudflaps could be replaced by the sexy master librarian, RA Dickey and his brand of mudflaps
When we realized that would never happen, we settled in for the game in Kansas City. But the tuckered out Twins took their stupid pills and started to lose. In an effort to motivate the club our beloved Garden Gnome argued with the ump...and then proved himself to be a creature from fantasy literature by vanishing just as suddenly as he began his argument.
So our hope was nearly lost...until we thought how surprising and distracting it would be to have Brian Buscher start the come back. I mean...you never expect Brian to be in the starting line-up, and you really never expect him to get a hit (let alone a clutch hit). I mean: No one Expects BRIAN BUSCHER!!!
And for good reason...he didn't do anything. And so the Twins lost the last game we saw them play. But they did win all the other games we saw, and 6 out of 9 on this entire road trip...which is very good. Now comes an intimidating home stand, with Detroit, New York and Chicago before the All-Star Break. We will remain faithful...and we hope you will stay tuned to see what the Twins manage to do.

Until tomorrow. Happy Trails.

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