7.14.2009

All-Star Update 2009!--Part 2

Observations in the first three innings

*Rarely do we feel bad for a Yankee--but stinks to be Jeter when you get hit like that
*Not the best hit for Mauer--but we'll take it (helped that he was running hard)
*Pujols made a mistake?--Are pigs flying?
*Tim McCarver does not know what an I-Beam is, I may rethink my decision to hire Idiot Play-By-Play Announcer Construction Company.
*This just in Roy Halladay WILL BE TRADED
*Stinky likes the way Ichiro twirling his bat, he looks like he's preparing for a Katana fight.
*Barack Obama just took a dig at the Nationals, making him the highest ranking trash talker EVER
*Additionally, Barack Obama is a better sports commentator than Joe Buck. Not that this is a difficult accomplishment. I'm just saying.
*This just in Roy Halladay WILL BE EATEN BY TIGERS
*Wait, once Obama threw a first pitch for the White Sox they didn't lose for the rest of the year?--It's Obama's fault they won a championship?
*Ryan Franklin's goatee makes him look like Mr. Tumnus.
*This just in Roy Halladay WILL BE SENT TO PURGATORY WHERE DANTE AND VIRGIL WILL LAUGH AT HIS LIFE IN TORONTO

More after the 6th

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