SAVE BIG MONEY AT DENARD'S!!!
Just in time for October we have a wealth of specials on sale at Denard's Super-Duper Season-Ending September-Sprint-Shootout Sales-a-Thon!!
C'mon in and sample our bargain bin of substitute first basemen! All the power of your regular first basemen but with an extra layer of rustcoat to protect against end of the season breakdown. They're made in the USA, and have the branding on the butt to prove it! Best of all the cost just the same as cute, cuddly, teddy bear of a right fielder!
Retro is Nowtro with Brian "You Make Me Feel Like" Duensing Yellow Cardigans and platform shoes with aquariums in the bottom! Just in time for Halloween your kids can look like the Twins' #5 starter...heck, does your kid have a paper route? He could probably BE our #5 starter! For only $13.95!
BUT WAIT, There's more!! In honor of our founder's Super-Sweet-Special-Six-Sruns batted in: we're offering, not one, not two, not three but SIX WHOLE PEANUTS FROM HEAVEN!! (Warning, do not ingest peanuts from heaven, as they are peanuts with fuzzy angel wings hot glued on...serious choking hazard for Children under the age of 4, and frat boys under the influence of 4 beers.)
Stop on in today, because while the season might last until October, these deals won't!