Don't look back in anger

Our season has been over, and after a two-day quarantine on all baseball related news (no ESPN lest they show clips again and again and again of poor Nicky P), it's time to refocus on good things.

Like the Los Angeles Angels of Anahiem. Our buddy Torii (whose favorite pancake house in Edina is the bomb-diggity, ps). And pretty much nothing else.

Seriously, if we end up with some Yankee type World Series I may boycott. If we end up with Yankees/Dodgers I will definitely boycott. C'mon, you've got to root for the Angels here, no steroid users, no jackass fans, Torii the wonderful, Bobby Abreu (who proved himself to be a non-Yankpire when he went out to check on poor Dr. Cakeburn last year--oh and further proved himself a non-Yankpire when he got the hell out of NYC), Vladmir Gurrero, and the quest for justice for former pitcher Nick Adenhart.

They also have the Rally Monkey, but with four teams left we'll let that slide.

While we are hoping for some sort of decency to win the day in baseball we're also confronted with one major problem: jackass sportswriters positing theories that are given the weight of papal edicts.

I'm looking at you Patrick Ruesse, and I'm looking at your suggestion that we trade away Dread Pirate Joe Nathan.
Could it give us some monies? Yes. Could it get us somebody to play second base effectively? Possibly. Could we survive with John Rauch, Jose Mijares, Pat Neshak, or Boof Bonser as our closer? Probably.

BUT! I beg of you Bill Smith, consider this carefully. Remember that Joe is part of us all, and though he had some pretty nuclear-sized meltdowns this year, he is our pirate, and we love him. Think of what the rest of the team will say: remember when Joe Mauer said that we need to add not subtract? Yeah, trading away his beloved closer--not so much the way to do that...

Let's be frank here: Would it be the end of the world if we traded Joe Nathan? No. Then why am I opposed to it? Because it's being presented by someone who's being a Captain Cranky-Pants after a lousy playoff series. If Ron Mayhay had given up the homerun to A-Rod in the ninth, everyone would be fine with Joe; if our starters had gotten completely smoked we wouldn't even discuss our bullpen. This is reactionary jackassery of the first order and should not be discussed as a brilliant solution to our problems, so much as it should be discussed as over-emotional panicking by a sports-world wannabe.

But perhaps Joe Nathan said it best himself. When reached for comment he told Peanuts from Heaven: "GARRRERRRARRRRERRRRR--GRRRRRAAAWWWWWRRRR!!!"
[Translation: Avast, Patrick Ruesse you billowing blowhard, unsheath your sw-ord and have at ye! Ya scurrrrvy swine!!!]

1 comment:

  1. Seriously. I still love Joe. It's amazing how one game or series can totally turn the public opinion. Earlier this season, Nathan was, according to basically everybody, one of our most valuable assets. He's been an all-star for...how many years? And generally speaking, he hardly ever blows saves. He's easily one of the best closers in the game.

    And yes, a couple of his blown saves were at unfortunately critical moments - but according to an SI article on October baseball, runs scored in the 9th inning increase 54% in October. Odds are that every closer is going to give up a couple at some point in the post-season.

    But, I guess everyone needs somebody to blame...