#14,001

For the last three years, the Murphy family has tried to answer a single question: how can we help get Tony Oliva in the Hall of Fame?

The Vote Tony O Team

No one asked them to answer that question. Not the Twins. Not Tony himself. They weren't deputized or drafted. They chose to do it themselves, coming together in a kitchen to found Vote Tony O to find out, "how can we help get Tony Oliva in the Hall of Fame?"

That's not an easy question to answer, and as someone who writes more than he takes action, I'm a little worried that I can't do much. After all, baseball writing focuses on providing clear and concise answers to clear and concise questions. Which player won the game? Which team lost the trade? Who's washed up? Who's the future? There's a quick answer to each of those questions and a swath of data to support any answer you give: box scores and power splits, defensive metrics and pitch mapping.

But when it comes to addressing Hall of Fame worthiness, things get trickier. For instance one advanced measure, which analyzes an array of statistics and contexts, puts Tony ahead of no-doubt-legends like Joe DiMaggio and Frank Robinson, but behind such faded who-the-hecks as Gavvy Cravath and Harry Stovey.

"The numbers are easy", says Mike Murphy, one of Vote Tony O's spokespeople. "[They've] all been a record since 1976, but it's a little bit harder for us to quantify what Tony means to the community."

Fuzzy though the quantification is, it's certain that Tony Oliva means a lot to his communities. He is and has been a role model for Cuban players coming to America. He served as a cornerstone of the Twins for the past 50 years as a player, a coach on both World Series winning clubs, and an announcer for our increasingly diverse fan base. Above all, he stands out as an indefatigable ambassador for the game, the team and life itself.

Over the years Murphy and his family have seen this more than most people. "Tony loves being Tony. Tony loves being the guy that people want to come up and meet and touch and get an autograph. He loves everybody that comes up to him; he bends over backwards for these people, and it's because he truly enjoys it. "

Again, anyone who has seen Oliva around the Twins in recent years knows it. Though the team has hardly been a bastion of good vibes, Oliva is often the greatest source of entertainment. He smiles. He beams. He radiates a love of the game that would insulate an ice fishing cabin in International Falls, and embodies a passion that those who fixate on questions about winning and losing too often forget.

But the Murphy's won't forget that passion, because they can't forget one of the rare times Oliva was dispirited rather than optimistic: winter 2011, the last time Tony was up for election. Mike Murphy remembers the push to the ballot. Remembers they day of the announcement. Remembers how "exactly the way you think it would be in your head, [that] was the way it was. You know the clock ticking and nobody talking, then depression sets in.

"And the weird thing was Tony wasn't depressed he didn't get into the Hall of Fame. He's at peace with it; he's fine. That part's not a big deal. I'm sure he wants it, but the fact that he isn't in there? He's okay with it.

"The part that disappointed him and bothered him was that he felt that he let his fans down...This is 35-ish years after the last baseball game he played. He was disappointed not because he didn't make it, but because he let his fans down."

So while others might shake their heads and moved on with their lives, the people behind Vote Tony O have taken up a three year campaign to push for Oliva's induction. They tweet. They promote. And they inundate the Hall of Fame with over 14,000 post cards highlighting Tony's achievements, ability, integrity, sportsmanship, character and contributions to the game. According to Murphy, that has been the real drive of the group, focusing on "the character of the guy, the integrity of the guy, and re-shining some light. Hopefully we can pick up those last four votes and put him over."


Four more votes, that's all Oliva needs. Twelve out of sixteen members of the veteran's committee. Former colleagues, executives and writers who know the game and its history, who should understand the effect that Oliva has had. And even though the votes belong to those men, and the honor of selection belongs to the players, the Murphy's know that the institution isn't just the property of the gatekeepers or the honorees. "It's a museum. It's a New York State museum. It's a public thing, and frankly as a baseball fan: it's my museum."

And even if you dispute Oliva's credentials (or refuse to consider him until after Gavvy Cravath gets his due), the leaders of Vote Tony O believe it's important to speak your mind. "It's our museum," repeats Murphy. "If [fans] feel strongly about anybody on that list be it Gil Hodges or Jim Kaat, I think it's their responsibility to let [the Hall of Fame] know. Nobody is really right and nobody is really wrong. But what we know as a fact is that an awful, awful lot of people think that Tony Oliva should be in the Hall of Fame, and that's what we [want] to share with those 16 guys."

So, how can we help get Tony Oliva in the Hall of Fame? Simple: do whatever we can.

The Vote Tony O website has a wealth of post cards that you can print and mail to the Hall of Fame (also linked to here for your clickable perusal). The baskets of cards are dumped out in front of the committee members and makes for a rather effective image (as noted by former committee member Tommy Lasorda).

So here's what you do
1. Click on the links to find the post card you like.
2. Print one (or preferably more) off.
3. Add a personal memory.
4. Address it to:

Baseball Hall of Fame

Attn- Golden Era Committee

25 Main Street

Cooperstown NY 13326

5. Attach a stamp to the card.
6. Drop it in the mail.

Whether you stood beside him at the Cuban sandwich station at Target Field, or held out a ball for an autograph at the Metrodome, or cheered with the Knothole Gang in the Old Met's bleachers on a Saturday afternoon, I think you'll agree that Tony Oliva is an integral part of what Minnesota baseball is.

Thank You, Tony

Whether you appreciated his friendly demeanor, or his clutch performances, or his bad-ball hitting, or his mentorship, or his courage in simply being a man of color in minor league towns that kept him separate and unequal, I think you'll agree it's time to stand up and say "thank you" to Tony Oliva.


Whether you want to recognize a player who never got his due, or acknowledge the role he played in cementing baseball as an international game, or just want him to savor the game's greatest honor before (like Ron Santo and Buck O'Neill) it's too late, I think you'll agree it's important to call on the Veterans Committee to "Vote Tony O".

Do your part: click, print, sign, lick a stamp, and make yours the 14,001st plea for the Veteran's Committee to Vote Tony O.

Well...14,002nd. I already sent mine.

The Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame

Once again the sounds of horsehide hitting leather mitts is resounding throughout the sunny fields of Arizona and Florida, and if we ever get to turn off our snowblowers we might just hear it up here in the towns teams call home during the summer.

As is our custom every year at this time, we're spending part of spring training remembering those who make the game such fun to watch. So we're holding elections to the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame which honors not baseball excellence but generally being amusing. Let the gatekeepers of Cooperstown worry about whose numbers are the best and who's morally pure enough worthy to enshrine, we'll just remember the funny things players did and make a goofy photoshop for them on Opening day.

As we suggested back in October, there's only one way to adequately judge a player: our totally made up and in no way scientific statistic AARP (Amusement Above Replacement Player [scale -10 to 10]). Below are this year's nominees and their AARP. Reminder, to be elected you must have either 75% or the highest vote total in the class, and to be held over to next year's ballot you need at least 5% of the vote--which is usually one vote or more.

You can vote through the poll on our personal website or leave a comment below to give your opinion added weight.

Returning Nominees
Joe Nathan

The Good--Gung ho closer with a penchant for made up rock anthems, facial hair, making farting noises with his mouth while stressed and piracy.
The Bad--Occasionally a little too fond of giving himself a higher degree of difficulty in saves.
AARP: 8.7

Denard Span

The Good--Steadily excellent play in center, quiet consistency at the plate, perfect nickname tie in with Menards.
The Bad--Chilled out attitude made him seem a little more aloof and harder to love than peers
AARP: 3.8

Delmon Young

The Good--Falls into the "So-Bad-It's-Good" genre of fielders...like Sharknado but with a glove. Mediocrity always masked slightly better than mediocre talent.
The Bad--Toolish behavior, general anti-semitism.
AARP: -0.9

Carl Pavano

The Good--Durable, reliable, has a heckuva mustache
The Bad--Not much personality to be noted beyond the mustache.
AARP: 2.7

Jesse Crain

The Good--Patches of impressive pitching, solid goatee and general kindness to the bloggers of this site.
The Bad--Few standout characteristics.
AARP: 2.0

Francisco Liriano

The Good--Flashes of brilliance, other flashes of stupidity, attributed silly amount of success to chewing gum, devastating slider
The Bad--Cranky and surly at times, as unpredictable as your crazy-ex but without any of the attractiveness.
AARP: 2.6

Tsuyoshi Nishioka

The Good--Briefly seemed like proof the Twins were going world wide. Tried really hard. Falls into the "So-bad-it's-still-pretty-bad" genre of fielders...like MegaShark versus Crocasaurus stuck on just the Jaleel White scenes.
The Bad--Created a lot of animosity pitting furious fans against merely exaperated fans
AARP: -0.6

Scott Baker

The Good--Consistent and solid starting pitcher. Once had his protective cup get lost in his pants.
The Bad--Injuries made his recent impact as a source of amusement minimal.
AARP: 2.1

Ben Revere

The Good--Thoroughly exciting and excitable fan favorite who loved to play the game
The Bad--Not around long enough to really make an impact or get a nickname
AARP: 2.3

Alexie Casilla

The Good--Absolutely passionate, strangely clutch, responsible for some of the most exciting moments in team history
The Bad--Generally an unknown in town, too inconsistent to become beloved.
AARP: 1.9

No longer eligible: Kevin Slowey, Luke Hughes, Jason Marquis, Matt Capps, Jason Kubel (resigned)

New Nominees
Justin Morneau
The Good--An MVP, a perennial all-star, a tenacious club-leader (even getting punched by Torii Hunter), goofy canuck, and the possessor of a widely admired backside.
The Bad--He hasn't quite been up to the old Morneau-snuff since a concussion, and despite his widely beloved nature his nicknames (Dr. Neau; Brawny; The Canadian Club) don't quite measure up.
AARP: 3.0

Ryan Doumit
The Good--Consistent refusal to button all his uniform created our nickname  "Ryan Suave", occasional outbursts of power were sincerely appreciated, penchant for eye black
The Bad--Consistently inconsistent. Poor defense and feeble hitting gave him little playing time and less love
AARP: 1.9

Jamey Carroll
The Good--Responsible for an often enjoyable game we played on this site called "Country Superstar" Jamey Carroll--which involved inventing silly psuedo-country songs based on being an aging middle infielder like: "My Defense Looks a lot Better After a Couple Beers".
The Bad--The whole playing thing wasn't his greatest strength....shame that was so important to the game.
AARP: 1.6



Liam Hendricks
The Good--Australian always seemed promising, and offered lots of Australia related jokes
The Bad--Never lived up to promise.
AARP: 0.7

Andrew Albers

The Good--Terrific story of triumph over adversity and dedication, including a scintillating stretch of scoreless innings.
The Bad--Everything after the strong start.
AARP: 0.9

This year, in addition to the recently released and traded players we're also running a veteran's ballot (in honor of the five year anniversary of our first inductee: Bert Aberforth Blyleven (whom we never saw play, but found hilarious anyway).

Veterans on our ballot and their AARP ratings are below.
Early Days
Cesar Tovar
The Good--Aside from the undeniably quirky and amusing playing of every position in one game, "Pepito" actually had a solid career both in the box and on the base paths, helping team to an AL title in 1965 and division titles in '69 and '70. Part of a stellar Centerfield tradition for the Twins.
The Bad--Didn't make much impact in the postseason. Relatively short peak of powers, fading off badly in the early 70s
AARP: 3.3


Mudcat Grant
The Good--Folksy and fun pitcher with a passion for music. Served as a top starter for the 1965 staff. Works to promote the history and future of African-American players in the majors.
The Bad--Three years is a very short run with the Twins.
AARP: 3.8


Glory Years
Dan Gladden
The Good--Tenure with team coincides with both world titles, including championship-winning run in 1991. Forerunner of gritty determined Twins players. AKA "Dazzle". Crotchety but amusing announcer
The Bad--Titles may be timing as much as talent. Hair was a mullet. Crotchety announcing. Grit and pluck are overrated.
AARP: 2.8

Al Newman
The Good--Plucky, scrappy utility infielder. Part of major league record triple-play combinations, later became coach famous for waving players home and butt patting.
The Bad--Again grit and pluck are overrated. Having an 0-31 hitless streak is too often forgotten, many would rather not hear about an association with recent coaching staffs.
AARP: 2.0

Recent Standouts
Corey Koskie
The Good--Excellent defender, solid hitter, founder of a goofy clubhouse-aesthetic, Canadian willingly returns and offers support for the team since retirement. Inspiration for my mother's rhyming game ["Koskie, Koskie, Show Us What you Gots-ki!"]
The Bad--Concussion and frequent injuries ended his career

AARP: 3.7

Doug Mientkiewicz
The Good--Gold medalist, World Series Champion, gold glove winning first baseman, incredibly popular hitter (despite average performance), gladly spoke his mind and inspired most awkward rhyming game [Mientkiewicz, Mientkiewicz...Make me a Sandwhich!]
The Bad--Friend to A-Rod. Awkwardly toolish after helping Red Sox win World Series.
AARP: 3.2

The Ken Burns Test

In one week, the Hall of Fame will announce who (if anyone) was elected to Cooperstown. There are a privileged few who get to vote for those hallowed halls, but just because most bloggers don't have a say, doesn't mean we can't use our blogs to have a say about literally everything else, including silly little exercises in analyzing Hall of Fame voting.

Last year I offered an economist's sense of how to vote in order to maximize your ballot. This year, as I continue to avoid numbers at all costs, I offer a simpler eye test, or rather a simpler eye and ear test. Theoretically, a Hall of Famer should be a player so exceptional or transcendent that we want to remember them for years to come. Film director Ken Burns has shown many such exceptional/transcendent players in his epic 11 part, 22 hour saga of the game's history. So, theoretically, if a player and their accomplishments sound impressive in Ken Burns black and white tones with tinkling patriotic music and a rich baritone voice over, the player is worthy of consideration.

And so I present: The Ken Burns Test.


Based on that little exercise I feel like I'd be voting for Bonds, Clemens (grudgingly), Maddux, Piazza, Bagwell, Biggio, Mussina, Schilling and Morris (irrationally), which leaves one spot open for the underrepresented--even by me--Tim Raines.

Who would get your vote? Leave a note in the comments below

Opening Day Preview!

Welcome to Opening Day! Before we begin please note the brand new feature in our top menu: "Find Your Favorite Twin". In just four short clicks you can find your new favorite player to root for this season (even if they aren't yet on the big league roster.

We should also welcome the latest addition to our Peanuts From Heaven Hall of Fame: Jim Thome!

Thome crossed the 75% threshold just ahead of other candidates Joe Nathan and Denard Span who will be back for next years ballots (alongside Messrs Young, Pavano, Crain, Liriano, Nishioka, Baker, Revere and Casilla while Slowey, Hughes, Marquis, Capps and [surprisingly] Jason Kubel will be off the ballot.)

Now for  the big stuff. As the season kicks off in earnest today, it's my last chance to predict the outcome of the season and prognosticate with the best of them (which is to say all the other people who will be proved wrong in six months). Just to k

eep some consistency with other (smarter) bloggers I'll use some of their terms for things

Twins' record: 70-92

Harmon Killebrew Award (Team MVP)--Justin Morneau

I'm going to go with the medias favorite definition of an MVP: how good would the team be without them? Morneau has looked consistently better as he becomes increasingly removed from his concussion, I'll guess that he plays well enough to help keep the Twins about 3-5 games below .500 until a June trade leads him to a healthy pennant race for the first time since 2008 (remember his issues kept him off the field in '09 and '10), meanwhile the Twins will drop off with out him, to about 10 games below .500, proving that he is indeed valuable.

Johan Santana Award (Team Pitcher of the Year)--Glen Perkins

With Scott Diamond out for the first month and other pitchers looking shaky, I'll take the cheap way out and give it to the best pitcher on the roster...even if he only gets to pitch twice-a-week. Perkins has played better and better since coming back from his injury/snit in 2010, besides at least one St. Paul product needs some love.

Rod Carew Award (Rookie of the Year)--Aaron Hicks

Who wants some JAG?!

While we'll likely see a veritable flotilla of starting pitchers make their way into the rotation and different points this year, I can't see any of them having a stand-out or noticeable year. While I don't think that Hicks will be with the big club all year long, I do think that his play will be the best of all the rookies and show considerable promise for the future.

And finally, our own special Peanuty-Award: 

Carlos Gomez Award (Most Entertaining Player)--Samuel Deduno

This isn't for playing well, this is just for playing in a way that excites, entertains and--most of all-- amuses us. I think that title will go to Samuel De-Dude Bro, the often erratic, always effusive pitcher who throws just well enough to make you think that maybe, this time, he won't break your heart, and then he does.... Rest assured, we'll be amused as bloggers, even if (as fans) we won't be.

Postseason Predictions (*Wild Cards)

AL: Angels, Tigers, Jays, *Rays, *A's; Rays > A's; Rays > Angels; Tigers > Jays; Tigers > Rays

NL: Giants, Reds, Nats, *Braves, *Brewers; Braves > Brewers; Reds > Braves; Nats > Giants; Reds > Giants

World Series: Tigers beat the Reds in 5
But since logical predictions are always wrong I'll say it actually becomes
Indians beat the Diamondbacks in 6.

(America watches the Here Comes Honey Booboo/Dance Moms cross-over instead)

Now, at last, let's shut up and watch some baseball! (Then talk some more...because it's baseball!!)

Calling all bribes

After the debacle of the Hall of Fame's "non-election" and last weekend's Academy Awards, there is but one honor left to bestow before the baseball season begins: the Peanuts From Heaven Hall of Fame! Yes, we still offer induction to all those who make the game fun to watch (even if they weren't exactly "good" at "playing the game of baseball").

We got there before you BBWAA

But what do possible inductees have to offer you? After all, bribery is as much a part of our electoral system as the whole electoral thing. Hall of Fame candidates can promise to actually listen to sportswriters for a change, and Oscar candidates plump for their campaigns through all manner of swag. So what exactly do our candidates have to offer you?

Jim Thome
One vote will net you a serving of mashed taters, one of several hundreds of home run balls and a small sample of his new cologne "L'eau du Smokey"

Joe Nathan
One vote will earn you a patch of scruffy beard, a hearty "Yarrr!", and a gold dubloon (warning: dubloon may be cursed)

Delmon Young
Delmon would love your vote, so much so he's willing to offer a plush stuffed Siberian tiger and 6 hours of community service...you're cool with having some of that, right?

Kevin Slowey
Things are a little tight for Kevin right now, but he does have a penny and slightly squashed skittle for anyone who votes for him.

Jason Kubel
Now embedded in Arizona, Jason Kubel can happily offer all those who vote for him a Grand Canyon key chain, his new self-help book: "Smirking and You" and free racial profiling to everyone who pays him a visit.

Jesse Crain
The ubermensch, our once great middle reliever/Nietsche spouting philosopher in residence offers you only the black abyss of unanswerable human quandries. Plus a 20% off coupon to TrueBerry.

Luke Hughes
Can offer you a large supply of marmite...wait...don't go! There's more!!

Jason Marquis
Despite Jason's meager four week term with the Twins, he's still a candidate. He can offer a wig and a sense of emptiness.

Francisco Liriano
Despite his injury plagued offseason (and regular season...and previous offseason....and several other regular seasons), Liriano is a prime candidate for the Peanuts Hall of Fame. And because of his injury plagued offseason (and regular season...and previous offseason....and several other regular seasons), he can offer to bribe you with any one of a dozen different ligaments and game-chewed gum!

Tsuyoshi Nishioka
Tsuyoshi Nishioka has already offered his bribe...it was his leaving, you're welcome.

Matt Capps
Vote for Matt Capps and receive one of the several dozens of homeruns he yielded in close games over the last three years. You will also receive a small smattering of the bazillion boos he faced at all times over the last three years.

Carl Pavano
Carl's swag bag includes surplus fake mustaches...obviously.

Scott Baker
The longest tenured Twin to say goodbye this offseason is extremely grateful for all your love and support. In honor of this he will acknowledge the existence of "nutty" from the infamous bat-girl posts and allow you to hang with the greatest support of all...

Denard Span
As ever you can Save Big Money with a vote for Denard S.! Receive high quality LED bulbs and valuable seeding mulch as well as coupons a plenty!

Ben Revere
Since smiles are not tangible, Ben Revere will honor your vote by dedicating five Web Gems to each person who votes for him.

Alexei Casilla
Would offer you things, but he's pretty sure he hasn't played for the Twins since 2010...

Remember you're voting for players who helped you have fun watching the game...it's easier than trying to discern greatness. 75% gets you induction 10% gets you another year on the ballot.

Rational Thinking on an Irrational Topic

This is one of my favorite times of the baseball year, which is odd because there's no games being played, no highlights to goggle over, no action to analyze.

But there is the Hall of Fame, that marvelous institution/debate instigator that symbolizes so much and actually means very little. This is the time to think about the history of the game, the greatest players to walk on a diamond, and exactly how baseball still relates to our values personally and as a society. As a  fan of baseball history and a chronic over thinker, this is perfect for me.

Seriously...it's a good book.

In approaching the question of who I would vote for (which I don't and--barring a radical change in BBWAA rules never will--have), I decided to try a more logical, rational approach than the normal touchy-feely me is known for and than the great debate headquarters of Cooperstown, New York is used to. I thought, I'd fill out a ballot as an economist would...or even better, as a Freakonomicist would.


Those who've read the books by Stephen Levitt (pride of St. Paul) and Stephen Dubner know that, to an economist's mind, voting is futile. Elections (especially national ones) are decided by thousands of votes not just one; however the more local your election (mayor, city councilor, school board) and the smaller the margin of error in polls, the more likely that your vote will matter.

But civic elections are simple affairs--one winner, lots of losers.When it comes to the Hall of Fame there are really three kinds of winning: (1st) get 75% and get elected for enshrinement; (2nd) get more than 66% and apply enough peer pressure on voters to eventually get elected; (3rd) get more than 5% and stay on the ballot until you can boost yourself up for enshrinement.

So, if you cast an economical ballot for the hall of fame, then you can break down your vote to those three categories. You vote for people who might or might not reach one of those three thresholds (and don't worry as much about people like Roger Clemens or Dale Murphy who won't make 75 or 66% but will easily top 5%. With that in mind, here's how I would vote (if I could):

Yup, I'm biased...

1st--Guys to get over the top
It's no sure thing that any one will be elected this year. But the two candidates deemed most likely to succeed also happen to be two people I think are quite deserving and would be proud to help put into the hallowed halls. Craig Biggio reached the rarified air of 3,000 hits while adapting to three different positions: Catcher, 2nd Base, and Center Field. He might not be the most eye catching candidate this year, but a vote for him gets tremendous bang for your buck. The same goes for Jack Morris, who may benefit from what some people call the "acehood fallacy", but also dosen't deserve to suffer for it. Sure that one great Game 7 may be the main reason he's inducted...but it was our game 7 so...he surely deserves a boost.

3rd--Guys to save from elimination
If you read other people's ballots, chances are that you see lots of star powered name hemming and equal amounts of "gee-I-wish-I-could-vote-for" hawing. Since less than 5% of the vote eliminates you from future consideration, and since many people are doubting the next three candidates, a vote for them helps to encourage debate about guys who need a little more consideration before their time runs out. Ergo, I'll vote for the eternally moving Kenny Lofton (best lead off man of the 90s), Edgar Martinez (best DH, possibly ever) and Larry Walker (best Rocky Mountain-based jack of all trades).

Maybe they aren't surefire hall of famers, but they should be discussed more than once or twice, and voting for them helps keep them outside of the danger zone and on the ballot a little while longer.

2nd--Guys to make people talk about
For some reason, some voters (cou*knuckleheads*gh!) will only vote for players who've already been voted for by more than half the electorate. They're happy to vote guys in, provided their colleagues yell at them loudly enough. So, now that Jack Morris is being talked about (and perhaps inducted) we can move more guys up into the conversation (even if that conversation is fraught with ideological disputes of the rights and wrongs of drug use).

Listen, Monsieur Hendersono...

Start with two guys whose problem isn't drug use, but things beyond their control. So I'd vote for  Lee Smith (whose mistake was being very good at a job that lots of people don't like--and whose exclusion is a little like not letting John Adams into your house party because you don't like politicians) and Tim Raines (whose mistake was not being named Ricky Henderson's non-union Canadian equivalent)

Next, we'll start the steroid discussion by making people talk about good candidates whose only problem is being pilloried over a lot of hearsay and conjecture. Chances are voters will move first on good candidates who haven't been publicly identified as dirty-no-good cheaters--once we have consensus on them, we can move on to the more difficult headliners. So, I'll cast a vote for Jeff Bagwell and Mike Piazza.

That's 9 votes already...but since it's make 9 get the 10th one free, I'll also toss on Barry Bonds, because he's another conversation worth having: one of the best players without the juice, (the best player allegedly with the juice), more multi-faceted than the other boppers (Messrs Palmeiro, Sosa, McGwire et al), less prone to "his career was fizzling" blame than his most high profile partner in (alleged) crime (Mr. Clemens). Barry's case is special, and probably won't be solved within the next 3, 5 or even 10 years...but once he hits 50-60% a few more will waver, and a few more, and a few more...and that's how consensus is reached.

Now, of course, my perception of baseball's history, who the greatest players are, and what our values will make a difference to practically no one (save, maybe my wife [hi honey] and my mom [hi momma!]).  And yet! What is this time of year for if not for imagining that writing up your convoluted thoughts about baseball somehow qualifies you to make sweeping assertions about the history of the game, the greatest players of all time and baseball's relationship to our values? What is this blog for, if not to give voice to my opinions, as part of the longest running debate in baseball? I'll make my assertions, and others will disagree, and all will be well in the world of baseball punditry.

That's why I love this time of year: great debates, even on a tetchy topic.

(Think I'm right? Think I'm wrong? Leave your thoughts in the comments below)

Ring out the old. Ring in the new.

It's 2013, and that means that the Twins haven't lost a game yet this year!!

Yes, enthusiasm has been in short supply for the past two seasons, with more than a few loyal supporters questioning their allegiances faster than the Malfoy family at the end of the Deathly Hallows.

We peanuts have long been among the most sentimental of the blogging community. We sigh with memories of Johan and Torii (heck, we even mourned Boof Bonser and Brendan Harris). And as the Twins rebuilding project has begun to gain momentum more and more of the guys we cheered for when this blog began have left the franchise.

We give out plaques
just for being fun...

As always, we remember the players who've left us with a vote to induct them into the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame (see the poll at the right). We laud the players who might have been good, but were mostly fun to watch and made us love the game (hence the inductions of Nick Punto and Carlos Gomez). So look through the list, vote as often as you like, and remember that 75% gets you in, 10% keeps you on the ballot and anything less than that gets a spot in the Jim Hoey Memorial Garbage bin of the mind.

But while reminiscences are satisfying to some, they really don't do much to address the present. As much as we peanuts love the by gone days of competitive, talented ball players whom we could photoshop in awkward ways, those days are over, and it does not do to dwell on dreams only to forget reality.

About a month ago, right after the Ben Revere trade, I took Stinky (Mrs. Peanut to you) out for a nice Italian dinner date night. We commiserated about the dearth of lovable guys and the uncertainty of new players. As she said, "everyone who made me love this team is gone, and in their place are a bunch of people I'm not sure will be here in six months. I used to cheer because I loved the team and the guys who were part of it. Now, I cheer because they wear the same clothes that the guys I love used to wear."

The happy couple during
a happier season

I have a feeling that Stinky spoke for a lot of Twins fans that night, few of whom are members of the blogosphere, but many of whom sit down the row or at the same bar and who have begun to approach the summer months with apathy bordering on estrangement. I've certainly had similar moments, and I've read many similar thoughts from other bloggers. But, as I told my beloved Stinky that same night, "this is part of love. The people you care about don't stay exactly the same as when you first met them, they grow, they change, and you find new things to love about them."

We could close up the blogging shop right now, satisfied that it was an amusing diversion for many years, and hope that some day the Twins sweep us off our feet again. Or we can keep writing, keep chatting and actually redouble our efforts as we find new things to love in this new team. This version of the Twins might not win, (okay they definitely won't win) but they can be entertaining and we can find entertainment in their efforts. So join us as we ring out the old (with the PFH HoF vote) and ring in the new (with new posts welcoming in our quirky line-up).

It's going to be a fun year.

--Smelly/Scruffy (Mr. Peanut)

Opening Day Prediction Time!

It's Opening Day (for the third day in a row!) and as we Peanuts settle in for the first game of the season (after a lunch date over Tibetan food) we thought we should offer a few last tidbits to savor before the game begins.

First, congratulations to the newest member of the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame. We're proud to induct those players who make it fun to watch a Twins game, they don't always need to be the best players, just the ones who help us enjoy it. This year a crowded field led to just one honoree: Michael Cuddyer.

Congratulations Cuddy, and those who voted, please know that other near winners (Thome & Nathan) and not so near winners (Young, Slowey, Kubel and Crain) will be back on the ballot next year along with any other Twins who depart this season.

But now is not the time to fixate on those who are no longer here, now is the time to think about the long season ahead. Clearly, since this is a Twins blog, we are biased. So for impartial analysis we turned to our newest analysts: Sid and Minnie...our pets.

So after much asking and much more flopping on couches here's how the pets see the 2011 MLB race.

AL--as called by Sidney the Dog

Also Rans: Yankees, Orioles, Royals, Mariners, A's, Angels (whenever these teams were mentioned Sid either stared dully out into space or sprawled out trying to sleep...not a good sign)

Juuuust a bit outside: Twins, Blue Jays (He appeared vaguely interested, but that might have been because food was near by)

Playoff Teams: Red Sox, Rays, Indians, Tigers and Rangers (I assumed licking his chops was a sign of excitement, rather than the fact that even he could play better than every Cleveland Indian)

Winner: Tampa Bay Rays--3 WHOLE LICKS!! Congrats, Joe Maddon, you've got the backing of our little mutt.

NL--as called by Minnie the Cat

Also Rans: Mets, Braves Cardinals, Reds, Astros, Diamondbacks, Dodgers, Padres (in each case she was looking down at the ground...just like she does before she vomits up a hairball)

Juuuust a bit outside: Marlins, Nationals, Cubs (she put her head just to one side, as if considering it, then....nah!)

Playoff Teams: Phillies, Brewers, Pirates, Giants, Rockies (Her eyes were up in that hopeful "I'd like more food please!" look cats sometimes get)

Winner: It's hard to know for sure (I skipped all my "Cat Body Language" Courses in college) I'm going to guess that her adoring demeanor after I mentioned the San Francisco Giants makes them her pick to win it all (though the Pirates should savor the fact that she gave you an ear wag).

So our pets predict a Tampa Bay V.s. San Francisco World Series. But at the end of the day, we can all agree that the ultimate winner is adorableness!

Enjoy opening day!

Closing Arguments

In case you haven't noticed; there is a poll available at the right side of this screen that invites you to vote for the next members of the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame.

This is not a Hall of Fame for the greatest Twins players in history--just as this is not the greatest blog in Twins history--instead this Hall of Fame aspires to be what we aspire to be: a place for the fun, the quirky and the things that make you laugh and smile while watching a game. Our first inductee was the master of farts Bert Blyleven, then hyperactive center-fielder/puppy personified Carlos Gomez, then the dictionary definition of scrappiness Nick Punto.

Today we have nine nominees vying for election...it takes 75% to get elected (or at least the top vote getter) and 10% to stay on the ballot for next year. And since the most entertaining thing that has been on this winter (other than Downton Abbey, obviously)  has been the spirited exchange of ideas/interminable car wreck of political aspirations known as the Republican Presidential Debates--we thought we'd give each candidate a chance to make their final case for enshrinement. Consider their claims and cast your ballot at the right--only 4 days left to vote! Make them count!

Jesse Crain 

(the only returning candidate from last year)

I believe that the reasons I would make a good Hall of Famer can be best summarized through a detailed analysis of the inter-related ideas of existentialist philosophers like Viktor Frankl and Austrian economist Friedrich Hayek, you see following the inhuman betrayal of our shared human values...[5 minutes later]...leaving the only possible explanation for both the meaning of life and the reason for a limited government: my excellent slider! Thank you.

Jim Thome

I never tried to make lofty, absurd promises to Twins Territory, I just spoke softly and carried a big stick that hit big homeruns. The citizens of Twins Territory don't need promises, they need a calm, steady, potato-ish presence in the line up, I did that proudly for two years. I even walked around with a big blue ox, because hey, I figured y'all would like it. If elected to the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame, I will be polite, dignified and hit home runs...you're welcome.

Delmon Young

You people never thought I'd do the things I did, but I always surprised you! Just when it looked like a ball would fly over my head for a devastating double, I'd randomly decide to leap and find the thing! Just when it looked like I'd catch the ball for an inning ending out, I'd lose it in the sun or the roof, or a cloud! Admit it, you could never predict what I'd do next! I'd always leave you guessing! What's more exciting than having that: EVERY SINGLE BALLGAME!! Elect me to the Peanuts Hall of Fame and who knows what I'll do? Ground into a double play? Try to leg out a triple? Establish a colony on the moon? WHO KNOWS?!? ELECT ME AND FIND OUT!!!

Joe Nathan

BLAGHERAGHERAGHERAGH!!!! STRIKEOUTS! GERAAAAGHHERAGAAAAAGGA!!! WINNING!!!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGH!!! VOTE JOE!!! BLARK!!!

This may be our last chance to refer to Dread Pirate Joe Nathan
We had to take it

Kevin Slowey

I know a little something about entertainment, and I know a little something about job creation. I provided you fans with countless games of entertainment, when I found a good pitching groove and suddenly turned in 7 or 8 innings of near total domination--that was entertaining. When I didn't, and I left after 3 or 5 innings in total confusion and disarray--well, I was just making sure that our bullpen guys had opportunities to prove themselves. Otherwise they'd be without big league contracts, and salaries, and their kids would suffer and the backbone of our society (middle relievers) would collapse! You wouldn't want that to happen would you? Of course not...so, that's why you should vote for me...I'm entertaining, and I'm doing my part to make pitching staffs strong again for ourselves, and our children.

Jose Mijares

I did three things that make me worth of being a Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Famer. I threw the ball really hard. I didn't sue when these bloggers photoshopped my head on a Princess drawing. And, uhh...uhh....oops.

Jason Kubel

Sure, I could tell you why I deserve election, but look at these other candidates! Kevin Slowey talks about putting relievers to work, but he single handedly put Boof Bonser out of a job! (What about Boof?!?) And Delmon Young? He's a serial flip-flopper: "I'll catch the ball. I won't catch the ball. I'll hit the ball. I won't ever hit the ball." How do we know the real Delmon Young is here? And I think that Joe Nathan is a secret african pirate who tried to turn Twins Territory into a socialist society where fluttering your lips replaced English as the national language!* I'm Jason Kubel, and I play baseball...vote for me!

*This message paid for by Smirking For America

Jim Hoey

Umm...I'm just gonna leave...

Michael Cuddyer

Sure, I could tell you about the all-star appearance, the charity work, the strong arm in right field, the steady professional hitting, the magic tricks, the ability to play any position Gardy asked me. But I think you're all sick of campaigning, and besides, isn't this enough? [Smiles, a soft *ping* is heard, everyone is happy]

So there you go, the choice is yours Twins fans; cast your votes in the poll (for as many as you like) and we'll photoshop the winning plaques by opening day!

You're Good...But are you Plaque Good?

While voting continues for the Peanuts From Heaven Hall of Fame (see widget at the right), today marks the announcement of the inductees to that OTHER baseball hall of fame: the one that places "accomplishment" and "excellence" above nobler pursuits like "amusing us" and "inspiring goofy photoshops." (Seriously--vote for the most amusing Twins who left the team this last year and do it now!)

Last year the Baseball Hall of Fame enshrined Bert Blyleven (two years after we did, it should be noted), and Bert's special day became a highlight in an otherwise stinktastic Twins season. This warm and fuzzy memory led us to wonder if another Twins legend could get the call and brighten up our summers in the near future.

After all, if the Cubs had four Hall of Famers {Ernie Banks, Ferguson Jenkins, Billy Williams, Ron Santo} on their roster during a period of time where they won absolutely nothing (1966-1971), then you would assume that the Twins might have had two or three serious candidates during a five year span (02-06) of four division titles.

So we did a very un-Peanutly thing and crunched a few numbers (hopefully correctly). Using Baseball-Reference.com's list of all time Wins over Replacement (WAR) leaders, we compared a few favorite Twins to the top 100 Hall of Famers and similar players who haven't been elected to Cooperstown yet. We figured if Wins over Replacement tell you how valuable and effective certain players are, and if the voters for the Hall of Fame become nerdier and more SABR-metric-y in the next decade or so (SPOILER: they will), then comparing our current player's WAR/Season against those of the game's legends should give us a sense of their chances. Here's how a few favorites stack up.

Hall of Fame WAR/Season Average: 4.68; Pitchers--4.68; Hitters--4.46
Non-Inductees WAR/Season Avg.: 3.86; Pitchers 3.86; Hitters--4.04 (subtract admitted/named steroid users and it's 3.86)

Classic Twins

Jim Kaat (1.65) and Tony Oliva (2.83) are frequently mentioned as "could be" inductees who are just waiting on their chums on the veteran's committee to give them the thumbs up. The problem is that both Oliva and Kaat rate below their peers already in the hall on overall WAR, even when you account for Oliva's short peak his per season WAR rates below all but three of the top 100 (Carlton Fisk, Harmon Killebrew and the immortal Bobby Wallace). So, our suggestion is for Kaat and Oliva to bake some cookies, or cakes or coquitos and woo some of their old playing buddies.

Jack Morris (2.18) is perhaps the best pitcher on the ballot this year but after getting a little more than 50% of the vote last year seems unlikely to leap up to the 75% thresh hold for induction. It doesn't help matters that Morris rates below all current hall of famers and a whole bunch of others who will get on the ballot next year. While we love Black Jack for his broadcasting and St. Paul roots and buying a ranch house near my childhood home and for the sheer genius of Game 7 it looks like he might be waiting longer for a call from Cooperstown longer than I waited for a call from the head cheerleader (wait was that a burn on Morris...or me?).

When you look at this year's ballot and realize that Brad Radke (3.14) is on it, you might feel, that time is a fleeting thing. Bradke hasn't been gone that long has he? 5 years, really? Sure enough the Twins' work horse is officially out to pasture and pretty well guaranteed of being chucked from the ballot with little consideration. Sure he's a local favorite and our judgement might cloud our judgement--but is worth noting that he has a better per season WAR over his relatively brief career than Curt Schilling, Tom Glavine and John Smoltz. Of course those guys all have fancy hardware on their mantlepieces and World Series rings on their fingers and Radke, you know, doesn't. (Sorry, Brad)

Current Players, Future Balloteers

While Radke's contributions to our run of success were important, he wasn't at his best then, and indeed some of those who were young and vital to the team are still playing, compiling stats and dreaming of that little Bronze Plaque. 

Hugs make missing the Hall of Fame feel less painful

Torii Hunter (2.12) stuck around for all four of those early division winners as he nears the twilight of his career he's a long way away from enshrinement levels (but he will be a free agent next winter, HINT-HINT). Ditto Joe Nathan (2.01), because while standards for closers are different than for other players, our beloved Dread Pirate will always be known to writers outside of the Midwest as "that really good closer who wasn't Mariano Rivera." Justin Morneau (2.17) is an interesting case because, while he had a stellar three-year-run, he also has been pretty much lost two years in his prime. If he'd been healthy and consistent during that time he might be approaching consideration...as is he seems like a Canadian Roger Maris. (No offense intended to either Morneau or Maris--that would be a good, though somber, three-four combination.)

The real talk has to start with Johan Santana (4.23), you know, that ace pitcher we bade farewell a few years ago--without whom our rotation has never really been the same--not that we're bitter or hold a grudge or anything. With just 11 years in the league Senor Santana has a solid WAR and WAR/Season, he's a little behind the top 100 average but well ahed of the guys who are about to get on the ballot. (Schilling, Glavine, Smoltz, Randy Johnson, etc.) He'll need to come back from shoulder surgery, but if he acquits himself well for the next three or four years he can show off his two Cy Youngs and have a great shot at immortalization (and seriously...no way he goes in with a Mets cap).

But the man we'll most likely be seeing on the walls of Cooperstown with the interlocking TC on his hat is Joseph Patrick Mauer (5.04). Sure there's a lot to be seen as he returns from pneumonia/knee surgery/bilateral leg weakness and hits in the middle of a fairly unprotective line-up and tries to catch and hit and do all those Mauery things, but here's the deal: through 8 seasons Mauer's WAR/Season is better than Johnny Bench, Jimmie Fox, Napolean Lajoie and Mel Ott; just a hair behind Frank Robinsons. Even with a sharp decline in his last two years he should best the Hall Average and be ready to deliver a speech full of scintillating Mauerisms "You know...umm...I'm really glad to...you know...umm...be here with...umm..you know..."(Sorry Joe, we kid because we love!)

Blessings on you my...you know...children

Our New Hall-of-Famer & Incredibly Accurate Pre-Season Predictions

Happy Opening Day Everyone!! We tried to spruce up the blog a little bit, so now there are pages you can click at the top of the screen, and the first chirps of our brand new twitter feed (http://twitter.com/heavenlypeanuts) are on the right side of the screen.

We're trying to engage our readers more and more at this blog (hurrah for socializing!) and to that end we're proud to post the new Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame Plaque of unanimous inductee: NICK PUNTO! [Tumultuous cheers and applause]

Seriously, I know he wasn't everyone's favorite player, but Nick Punto was the model Twin: played hard, always fought, cheered on his teammates, and did it all for a fairly modest salary. It was easy to love watching him play, because you could tell he just loved to play. God Speed Nicky P. We will miss you.

Finally, since every other Twins blogger is doing it we will follow the crowd with our pre-season predictions. Unlike other Twins bloggers though, ours are 100% guaranteed to be right! Behold the power of our brains!

• Every Major League Team will play 162 games to determine their regular season records.
• Joe Mauer will have sideburns.
• 8 teams will receive play-off berths.
• Joe Buck will irritate baseball fans throughout the nation.
• The team who scores the most runs in the deciding game of the World Series will win the World Championship trophy.
• Many, many profanities will be directed at the New York Yankees.
• Regardless of their final record (or the number of people who read this blog) the Peanuts From Heaven will cheer the Twins all season long.

LETS GO TWINS!

Ain't Too Proud to Beg...

There's just a week to go before pitchers and catchers report which means only 7 days left to vote for the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame!!! So all you lurkers and random passers-by on the internet, don't be afraid, the buttons won't bite you! Look over there at the right hand side of the screen and click on the players who made watching Twins games a treat.

So cast your vote and leave a comment while you're at it. We like making new friends: Brazilians, Brits, Oregonians, Oklahomans, heck--even New Yorkers! We're Minnesotans, we're bound by state law to be nice. So leave a comment and make a Peanut's day!

Join the gang, join the discussion, life's more fun when we share. Seriously, I need some baseball conversations; I need debates and complaints, pleas and analyses. Who will lead our team in scrappiness without Nicky Punto around? Is Joe Nathan healthy, and if not, will he cut off Matt Capps' arm and make it his own? If a Jason Kubel falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

These are the kinds of question that make baseball fun! Now that we're free from the iron grasp of pro football let us rejoice and make merry!! Baseball's back, share the joy! (PLEASE?!?)

Vote for the Peanuts from Heaven Hall of Fame

As January draws to a close our eyes will turn southward to Spring Training in Fort Meyers and the joys that go along with it. Sunshine. Blue Skies. The sound of Joe Mauer's bat hitting a ball so hard that PETA activists charge him with cruelty to animal skins. And, because we're a weird crew we baseball fans, we'll be dreaming of October--in February...'cause we're like that.

But we'll also be thinking of the players who've left us over the last offseason, and as is our habit here at Peanuts From Heaven, we like to commemorate the fallen with one final photoshop as an induction into our very own Hall of Fame. This is a hall dedicated not to the absolute BEST Twins players, but instead dedicated to those who make watching the game so entertaining and make writing and reading about the Twins one of our favorite pastimes.

This year, instead of unilaterally deciding which former Twin should be enshrined alongside such ever amusing icons as Bert Blyleven and Carlos Gomez, we're going to open the voting to you! In the right menu bar you'll see a poll--click next to the player you want to see a hall of fame photoshop of and we'll provide it! The poll will be open until pitchers and catchers report and the induction ceremony will be held on the first day of Spring Training.

In case you need a reminder the candidates are:

Jesse Crain (A guy so nice we called him "Uber-Menschy" or...Ze Ubermensch!)

Orlando Hudson (About as bombastic as I am)

JJ Hardy (Boy Detective/Dreamy Shortstop)

Nick Punto (Enough Said)

John Rauch (who I didn't make a photoshop of, but who did have this sweet intro video for half a year--which just screams Kenny Powers-esque, doesn't it?)

Matt Guerrier (who also didn't get a photoshop, but was a great straight man to the antics of the rest of our bullpen.)

VOTE AT THE RIGHT!

Hall of Fame Voting Philosophies--and why they're stupid

While I know it's about a week after the fact, I wanted to write about Hall of Fame voting. Though we Peanuts already made him a Hall of Famer years ago, we have to congratulate Bert Blyleven again on getting into the "official" Hall of Fame. But Bert-Fever's been tempered by a scad of curmudgeons who still believe he doesn'tbelong in the Hall of Fame. Their reasons are varied, but few have to do with his statistics. Now, complaints about Bert are less about his resume and more about the ways in which Bert violates their delicate sensibilities about who should be a "Hall of Famer".

It is those voters, those sensibilities and those complaints that I want to address, by taking a number of their arguments and pointing out the fallacies of such claims. I don't mean to claim that I'm smarter or better than the people who hold to these arguments; I'm just a former/future English teacher (hopefully*) who can't resist the urge to correct the writing of people who can't distinguish personal opinion from genuine reasoning. Below, I've listed their opinions and scrutinized their failings. If you enjoy semantic discourse read on, if not, just appreciate the fact that Bert's in and they can't kick him out now.

1) Bouncer Philosophy--If you weren't a first ballot Hall of Famer, you aren't a Hall of Famer:

Some would say that the truly great are obvious and instantly admitted. This allows the Hall of Fame voters to act like bouncers at a happening night club, letting in A-listers with casual coolness and keeping the plebes at bay until those great unwashed stop bothering you or leave. Problem is, real bouncers often have to bear in mind fire code and occasionally ask even the awesomest of the awesome to wait just a tick. Cy Young (you know, the pitcher so good they named the "best pitcher of the year" awards after him) had to wait a year; Rogers Hornsby (one of the best hitters/2nd basemen ever) waited five; Duke Snider (a player frequently compared to Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle) waited eleven. Even bouncers make mistakes.

2) The Omnipotent Writer Philosophy--If I didn't vote for you before, I can't vote for you now, so you aren't a Hall of Famer:

Some writers value consistency, and once they vote for someone, they vote that way forever. Unfortunately some people apply the same logic by voting against candidates. Because apparently, if you're a baseball writer, once you develop an opinion it can't change no matter how much thinking you do. This theory drives me nuts, especially when I hear people say: "how can someone who you didn't think was good enough for years, suddenly become good enough?!?!?" Why not ask, "how can you think a movie is better after you watch it a second or third time?" or "How can you change your opinion on _____? What are you some kind of thinking person who thinks?"

3) The Reputation Philosophy--If you didn't "win the big one" or intimidate your enemies you aren't a Hall of Famer:

Some voters believe the the opinions of others are a good basis for their own. If you couldn't win a World Series or a playoff game; if you never won an MVP or Cy Young award; if you didn't have other players cowering in your shadow...well, you clearly suck. Here's the thing though: baseball's a team sport. You can be the greatest hitter of all time, but if your pitcher doesn't throw strikes you're going to lose. You can have an incredible unbelievable season on the mound, but part of the credit for it has to go to the defense that saved you runs and games. And I don't care how fearsome a player is, part of their intimidating nature depends on the situation (Mauer having Denard on base and Morneau hitting behind him). I won't deny that over time the best rise to the top and are rightfully venerated, but reputation alone is not enough to make a judgement.

4) The Wealthy Dowager Philosophy--Nobody lives up to the standards of the past, so to let in the "nearly excellent" would destroy the standards of the Hall of Fame:

I admit I love baseball history and doubt that some inductees are as great as others. (Bert's great, but he's not Sandy Koufax.) But I've never heard anyone say: "I went to the Hall of Fame, and it was okay, but that damned Hack Wilson plaque--just ruined it for me." This isn't the last bastion of Western Civilization, it's the Baseball Hall of Fame, let in who you want, but remember the Hall of Fame existed for decades before you and will exist for decades after. Whenever I hear these opinions I think of Aunt Augusta in The Importance of Being Earnest (like I said, English teacher), dropping her pince nez in disgust and recoiling in horror: "What Mr. Blyleven? Your ERA is 3.31 and you were born in a handbag? A HANDBAG!?!?!?!?!?"

I'm glad we can have these kinds of debates, and gladder still to have some baseball to talk about. Whether you agree with me or not, it's my pleasure to instigate the conversation. So, what do you think?

A quick note before bed

I've been bounding about the Twin Cities taking care of some business most of the day. But I thought I should say this today, rather than tomorrow: Congratulations to Bert Blyleven, the greatest Dutchman to ever play the game and a brand new Hall of Famer.

(Reactions to the news included high-fives between my brother and I at a bar downtown where we ate lunch, thumbs up from the bartenders and waiters and a small woop from a guy at a table by the windows. Even in Turkey, Stinky shouted out her excitement and gave a number of smiley faces: Turks for BERT!)

In honor of Bert, I will happily post this interview with the new Hall of Famer, which shows vintage Blyleven: bemusement, and poop jokes--gotta love him.

Back with more on the Hall of Fame tomorrow...or today..or whatever.

Something old, something new...

This is it. After months of reading pointless commentaries by baseball pundits, after days and days of no news but Scott Boras' latest ransom demands for major league talent, after the weeks of winter finally, at long last, baseball is in the air again.

Last week the other 29 teams in baseball turned up in their training complexes, began trading stories of fishing trips and bar hopping escapades, and this week the coolest team in baseball (the one whose name starts with an "M" and ends in an "-innesota Twins") arrives in Fort Meyers to start pitching, catching, and feeling the warm rays of Floridian weather before returning to what the Twin Cities laughingly refers to as "April".

We've kept a steady eye on the news outlets gathering all manner of information, and though our time in graduate school has precluded us from posting as often as we would have liked to, not posting did allow us to, you know, learn things. But before everyone arrives we'd like to take a moment and say a "Hi, hello," to the newest members of the Twins family.

First, the former Milwaukee Brewers short stop and Betsy, Katie, and pretty much every lady Twins' fans favorite new piece of eye-candy JJ Hardy. To be sure, JJ offers better hitting than most of our recent short stops...but we'd rather focus on his ability to offer unparalleled mystery solving abilities (as is evidenced by the series of novels based on his childhood)

Second, JJ's new double play partner, Orlando Hudson, whose arrival caused Twins fans excitement to reach a high not felt since he of the Radiant Sideburns first arose to the Major Leagues. Best of all, we here at Peanuts from Heaven get to reuse two of our favorite nicknames from last season which we had thought would fall into desuetude with the departure of Orlando Cabrera. Lucky us: two

seasons, two Orlando's (question: did either Orlando's mother name an older son "Oliver", if so, Shakesfan would be most impressed)

Finally, there's Ol' Smokey. You remember him, the guy who tormented us, destroyed us, ravaged our hopes and left them crumbled like the dusty remnants at the bottom of a box of Cheeze Its? Well, now he's on our side...which, I guess makes our team Sawyer to Jim Thome's Faux-Locke (or Flocke, as we might like to call him)

Yet, all the elation at these three arrivals is tempered by the fact that it came at a hefty price. Namely, the one, the only, THE Carlos Gomez. He has, throughout the past two seasons, inspired us to call him a super villain, a cranky pants, a Ringo Starr body double, and a Velociraptor. He talked to his bats, he screamed in primal fury, he leapt, he dove, he refused to take a pitch. He is, without doubt one of the most entertaining players we have ever seen. And while we wish him well in Milwaukee (Algonquin for the Good Land, don't ya know) we have chosen to honor the memory of Carlos Gomez by making him the second member of the Peanuts From Heaven Hall of Fame.

Good night sweet prince wherever you are, and good morning new princes. Glad you're on our side at last.