My Name is "Scruffy Rube"...

...and I'm a Twins-a-holic.

The gradual decline of posts on this website is not a sign of laziness, apathy or disinterest. The fact of the matter is, both my colleague and I are under graduate school pressure. And while we would like to simply put "see heavenlypeanuts.blogspot.com" in place of all application essays, we realize that's impractical.

But just because we have prioritized and placed writing this blog below studying for graduate school does not mean we anything has supplanted the Twins as the coolest, most totally awesome thing in the world.

Witness the sentences I wrote to help memorize vocabulary for the GRE:
  • "Among Mr. Morneau's accolades are an MVP award and two of K's 'Best Ass' trophies."
  • "Denard Span's burgeoning talent ameliorated the Twins' outfield situation."
  • "The Yankees/Red Sox hegemony in the American League is boooooooooooring."
  • "My idolatrous affection for the Twins may violate the first commandment."
  • "Gardy's irascible tendencies made him a danger to umpires everywhere."
  • "Whenever Mike Lamb starts at first base the Twins infield reaches its nadir."
  • "Delmon Young's use of supraction obfuscated the game, and enabled another victory."
  • "'Isn't it obvious,' Carl Pohlad shouted, 'I'm a parsimonious A$$#@*#!'"
  • "Dread Pirate Nathan and his parrot pirate LOST for the Bangkok DVD market."
  • "Faced with the Twins pluck, the Yankees quailed and quit."
  • "The search for sanity in Carlos Gomez's mind is quixotic, to say the least."
  • "Dread Pirate Nathan is a scurvy scallywag, and my hero."
  • "Supraction stupefies all the Twins enemies."
  • "The Twins surfeit of comical characters will always give me something to write about."
  • "Our pesky piranhas are Ozzie Guillen's greatest vexation."
  • "I am such a zealot that I would tatoo Alexi Casilla's face on top of my own, if I had the money."
And the one that proves my dorkiness more than any other:
  • "Gardy the Garden Gnome's trenchant managerial acumen obviated late inning crises."
Maybe it's wrong that I incorporate my love into my life so often...but at the risk of being cliche or even hackneyed: "how can something wrong feel so right."

No comments:

Post a Comment