It's bad...but not brain explodingly bad

A few days ago my esteemed colleague gave us all her impersonation of the Twins' offseason. And I must say, I cannot agree more. Beyond a few feverish dreams and a bunch of deals that never got done the Twins have been quieter this offseason than a bound and gagged Marcel Marceau, but a frothing-at-the-mouth op-ed in today's Star Tribune makes me feel like I ought to defend Bill Smith's Napoleon plan this offseason. (Namely: First we show up, then we see what happens.)

A few weeks ago I suggested the following steps to have a better offseason: 1) Learn from the past, 2) Focus on the present, 3) Don't destroy the future. And while Bill Smith hasn't given away the farm, nor signed a corner infielder with an AARP membership, he hasn't exactly figured out a way to make our present much better either. I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm willing to wait and see what he'll do. I'm sorry to see him act, as K. so right pointed out: "like the lonely nerd at the prom who's afraid to ask the girls to dance." I would like him to act more like the Pickup Artist, stroking John Smoltz's beard until the arm attached to it joins our pitching staff, convincing Bobby Abreu that, since his eyes are like starshine, he should learn to play third base and take a paltry salary because the beauty of his smile is worth all the gold anyone could ever want. Smiths seems a little gunshy...so, maybe this photo will remind him of what he can be.

Still, I'll tell you what I won't do. I won't give up. I'll agitate, I'll encourage, I'll make pie-in-the-sky suggestions, but I won't call anyone a failure before the season is through and we see how the moves pan out. (Unlike shmucks whose names rhyme with Smatrick Smeusse) Just because Yankees GM Brian Cashman paid three players enough money to make his last name ironically accurate, doesn't mean that he made his team that much better (he did similar things the last 7 years...and it didn't exactly work out for him).

We've been too quiet, I agree, so let's get out there and make it happen, let's start FreeAgentMatch.com, where Bill Smith can find the players we have instant compatibility with. Let's stop being crickets...but let's not be too quick to judge either. You don't win a World Series in January, and Bill Smith is probably smarter than I am...though not nearly as adept at photoshop.