Victory is loverly, and as I wrote yesterday, so is our new ball park, but there's something which we will have to remember as we gear up for the long summer slog ahead of us.
You see, outdoor baseball brings with it outdoor issues. Things we never had to worry about before suddenly have an effect. While we could always rely on the Metrodome shielding us from the rain, snow and flying monkey attacks which occur throughout the Minnesota spring/fall, at Target Field we must make do with this--we accepted this fact and dressed accordingly. (My mother's flying monkey poncho has been especially helpful this year.
But we forgot about the wind...yes, the wind...you might remember it from 1st grade weather charts...remember with all the velcro that made the cool Ccchhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrip! noise? Right between hanging up your coat and story time you had to note what the weather was the day before and what it was today. And that's when you met our friend Mr. Wind.
It seems that Mr. Wind is not a fan of home runs. As is evidenced by the fact that in the past two games Messers Morneau and Cuddyer hit balls so hard that the cows who supplied the hide for the balls mooed in pain up in Cow Heaven*. Yet these balls did not go over fences, instead they came up short and what could have been higher scores for us did not come to fruition.
It's easy to say that later in the year that Mr. Wind will change direction and these hard hit pitches will fly out of the stadium, but we must remember that not only will our fly balls will go farther, but so will those hit by our opponents. Which means that all those noisy outs hit against Pavano and Baker will turn into home runs...painful, painful home runs.
So, we must adjust again and to adapt to Mr. Wind, we need a Mr. Run-Like-the-Wind, a Mr. Silent-as-the-Wind. We need, Denard Span: Ninja General** of Twins Territory.
We hope that Denards Ninja skills translate to more wins at Target Field, but also that he remembers to pack his kitanas and nunchucks for this weekend's series in New York. We'll write more about this in future, but if you want a refresher, click the link at the left of this post that says: "A Guide to Recognizing Your Yankpires".
*In case you were wondering, in cow heaven all the grass is green and all the cabernet is complex and oak-y.
**Note: In Chairman Mauer's Utopian Twins Territory, Ninja General is a position similar to Surgeon General in America. Only far more badass.