We don't know much about you. We know your name. We know that you used to play in Washington DC (which, fyi: does not get a vote in congress, so congrats on getting a meaningful vote again). And we know that you came to us in exchange for everybody's favorite superfluous catcher: Wilson Ramos, so we hope you are as good as he is.
We also know that you helped us beat the Seattle Mariners last night, for this we are grateful. The Mariners always seem to work a woeful mojo on us, using tearful poetry and over priced coffee to make us as depressed as your average Seattle resident, and then sneaking across the plate with the winning run. You did not allow this to happen last night. Thank you.
We wish you best of luck with the rest of your season, and if you would like cookies feel free to ask....they may not be good but they will be...something.
Sincerely,
The Peanuts from Heaven
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