Dear CJ Wilson,

You know, I should be mad at you. I mean, we haven't lost a series since July. We haven't lost three in a row since before the All-Star Break. You seemed determined to make Joe Mauer your own, personal, statistical anomaly, thereby breaking the hearts of Twinnesotans everywhere. But rather than be angry, I am more convinced than ever that you are pretty cool dude.

Why, CJ Wilson, must you be so AWESOMELY NERDY!?!?

It's not just that you appeared in a video with the Lost creators (cool enough) or that you explain Lost on a blog which is simultaneously funny and smart (something I could certainly benefit from taking lessons on) or that you dig on chicks who hang out at Barnes and Noble, BUT YOU ALSO PLAY BASEBALL?!?!? (The sport of nerds from Stephen J. Gould to George Will)

Seriously, I don't like complications. It's far easier just to dislike anyone who doesn't have Minnesota on their shirts...but what with the sci-fi and the writing and the baseball and the nerdery...well I have to face the complication that no matter how confused I am by the strange and foriegn land known as "Texas" I think you are helping to bring the Nerdy back.

For this, we here at Peanuts from Heaven bestow upon you an august honor: you shall be a Lost doppleganger of the Baseball world. Normally we reserve this honor for the Twins (and of course, Jim Thome as the smoke monster) but clearly, anyone who takes time out of his pitching schedule to explain string theory deserves this plaudit.

So for making it cool to be a nerd, and serving as a bastion of dweebery in the the harsh Texas climate, you CJ Wilson are the Daniel Faraday of baseball (appearing out of seemingly-nowhere, a penchant for widebrimmed hats, sciency talk that few other people understand and appreciation for the fine art of facial hair).
So what would Faraday do in this series finale? Well, I would like to see you/Faraday try and convince your teammates that the only way to make it to the postseson is by travelling back in time to 1977 to detonate a hydrogen bomb...but that might have some negative side-effects (i.e. nuclear fallout in the present)...so why don't you get all the other Rangers to time travel and then join our team...we have beautifully knit Norweigan sweaters and other fine state fair products!

We await your decision,


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