_____PLACE OBLIGATORY APOLOGY FOR ALL-CONSUMING GRADUATE SCHOOL WORK LOAD HERE_________Continuing blogging.....NOW
For those of you uninitiated fans of our blog you may want to know the definition of one of our favorite words: "SUPRACTION (n): An act combining the arts of surprise and distraction which results in an unexpected benefit for the individual who performs said act."
We have many fans of supraction on the Twins, but perhaps no one is a bigger fan of it than Delmon Young, left fielder, scotch connoisseur, lover. Delmon uses Supraction and uses it well, in fact, at times it seems like he only ever succeeds because of it, the weight loss, the sudden bursts of athleticism the down right flukiness of some great plays, last night was no exception as Delmon's supraction skillz were on display, as is evidenced by his dugout conversation with fellow Supraction stud/amateur magician: Michael Cuddyer.
Michael: [while confounding reserve catcher Drew Butera by vanishing Butera's lunch money] What's wrong Delmon?
Delmon: You know Michael, I keep hitting the ball hard, but it doesn't make a difference, do you ever wonder if hitting the ball with force is a gigantic, horrible, life threatening mistake?
Michael: ....No Delmon...No I don't...
Delmon: Sure, you don't...hitting the ball hard is what puts the dimples in your cheeks [Michael smiles and a soft but discernible PING! is heard] It just doesn't seem to make a difference for me.
Michael: I know Delmon, but just think...now that you can hit the ball hard, if you suddenly don't hit the ball hard it would be surprising...
Michael: ...AND distracting...
Michael: It would be SUPRACTING!!!!
Delmon: Oh, Cuddy you can always cheer me up
[And so it was that Delmon hit a meek little nubber to the short stop...who missed it, loading the bases, now on the base paths Delmon and Michael conduct their next conversation via telepathy]
Delmon: That was fun...
Delmon: You know what would be even more fun?
Michael: Mentally inserting a Javanese Jumping Bean into the balls that the Indians are pitching?
Delmon: How did you know?
Michael: We're conducting this conversation via telepathy, Delmon, there's literally nothing I don't know.
Delmon: Even the fact that I cry every time I watch and/or read: Bridge to Teribithia?
Michael: ...Yes, Delmon, even that.
[Through their combined mental powers Delmon and Michael cause Javanese Jumping Bean laced baseballs to cause a walk of JJ Hardy, and then a wild pitch which results in both Michael and Delmon coming into score on one errant throw. Back in the dugout they discuss their results]
Delmon: God, I'd forgotten how fun Supraction was! Let's do it every inning!!!
Michael: Wait a second Delmon, if we always supract people it won't be surpising...
Delmon: ...or distracting...
Michael: Maybe we ought to not hit at all for like...the next 10 innings...then I'll suddenly hit a home run! And a few innings later...A TRIPLE!!!
Delmon: But what if the Indians hit the ball well? Wouldn't we be running the risk of losing...to Cleveland?
Michael: Hmmmm...good point...
Delmon: [Snaps fingers] I've got it! I'll suddenly field my position effectively! No one will expect that to happen!
Michael: No Delmon, I don't suppose they will [Hearty laughter...and...SCENE!]