Moms are great...and so is Derek Jeter?

Sure I could talk about my first thoughts on turning on the exhibition game today (though it would pretty much be nothing more than: "ohmigodohmigodohmigod!!") but instead I'd like to focus on two lesser known great things in the world.

By now we've all heard about Denard Span, every Peanut's favorite emulator of Abraham-Lincoln-like-facial-hair, and the unfortunate accident that came yesterday when Denard hit a foul ball that improbably hit his own mother.

Two things came out of this story that we feel are worth noting

1st--Denard's mom, Wanda Wilson, was reportedly more mad about Denard's leaving the game than his hitting her with a foul ball. Way to prioritize Momma Wilson! Supportive, kind, encouraging to your son. "Don't worry about me, it's just a flesh wound! Go play your game with your friends! Make your family proud!" Clearly, Wanda Wilson, like all kinds of other Mom's kick butt. (And as Denard and all sons know--you don't mess with your mother.)

2nd--We here at Peanuts from Heaven must admit to a mistake. We have in the past, been adamant in our assertion that Yankees Shortstop Derek Jeter is, like all Yankees, a secret vampire hell bent on destroying our team, our way of life and the world as we know it. However, as the article from ESPN cites: "After the top of the third, Span said Yankees star Derek Jeter stopped him on the field and told him it was OK to leave the game to check on his mother".

Yes, you read that correctly. Derek Jeter. Was Kind. To a Twin.

This naturally surprised your friendly bloggers, who naturally assumed that being "The Captain" of the Yankees, Derek Jeter would be the new king Yankpire. But, perhaps, like the modern "Sensitive" Vampire...Derek Jeter prefers to spend his time lying in fields, thinking cliched thoughts about love, and of course: sparkling.

In case you wonder what we mean...notice the image in the video below (you don't have to watch it)...some might call that sweat...we're going to call it SPARKLES!

To learn more about Sparkles and his fellow Yankpires take a look at the new page devoted entirely to the sketchitude that IS New York Yankee Baseball.


  1. DerekJeter is not kind.
    DerekJeter knows that Span is a superior lead-off hitter.
    DerekJeter wanted Span out of the game, so that DerekJeter could be the center of attention.

    DerekJeter's head looks like a football.

  2. BEN. I am shocked at your use of the gratuitous apostraphe. You're an English teacher!!!!