Know Thine Enemy '09: The Baltimore Orioles

Reasons we should obliterate the Orioles like the first day of grad school obliterates preconceived notions of how easy this was all going to be.

1. We haven't beaten them yet: Shocking, but true. We got stuck in Baltimore on a rainy week in May. Were forced to play one game through a monsoon, and were so mad that we stank the net day too. This shall not stand! *18 Loathing Points*
2. Separate and Unequal: It's not 1930 era school houses--it's the schedule of the Twins in comparison with our Central Division Rivals (spare me the malarky about how we have an easier schedule now, consider this). We play the Orioles, woeful and miserable as they are a mere 5 times...The Tigers get 8 games against the hapless Orioles--The White Sox get them 9 times! That's basically 3-4 games where we have to play someone better than the White Sox and Tigers do--FOUL I SAY!!! *22 Loathing Points*
3. Bye Bye Birdie: What the hell is up with the birds on the logo? I mean, we just have letters...and when we're feeling ironic two muscly guys shaking hands over a river. The Orioles? The Orioles have 15 different kinds of their little bird guy. If Mad Men has taught me nothing else in the last three weeks it's to wait for an ideal concept, then wait a little while longer for it to be perfect. Then, you're golden! *14 Loathing Points*

Reasons we should quietly persevere over the Orioles in a way to make all other Grad students proud:

1. Frank Robinson: Classy guy--Member of the Alternate Reality Twins *-21 Loathing Points*
2. Didn't we just do this?: This weekend we whupped the Royals, which was nice, but they are the worst team in the American League. Now we play the Orioles, and whupping them would also be nice....but they are the second worst team in the American League. HOWEVER! Since we have not won many games recently, we won't be picky, just slightly disengaged. *-1 Loathing Point*

Final Loathe-o-Meter Rating: 32 Loathing Points

(+20 from last year)

Punishment: Read Michel De Certeau's "Writing of History" cover to cover, by tomorrow and have a 3 page paper written in sanskrit by Wednesday!

*Side note, in case you are (as I am) irate about uneven schedules, perhaps you might like to peruse a totally unfeasible alternative presented by ESPN....it makes sense--but of course, the number of institutional changes that have occurred as a result of some guy talking about it on some sports show is zero. But still...intriguing.

**Side, side note--Stinky is at the game tonight, so I will cede bloggering duties to her, Go Twins!!