And Lo, they came from over the hills, riding like the wind and leaving blazing trails of fire in their wake. Brandishing their Cy Young awards, they raised the battle cry.

While sleeping in his humble abode, Gardy the gnome heard the hoofbeats of impending doom. Gardy knew what he had to do - from underneath his bed he pulled his magic RBI horn and called the Minnesota Twins starting lineup to his side. From all corners of the earth they appeared, wielding their bats, ready for the war that was to come.

"Brave gentlemen," said Gardy the gnome. "We must fight six battles in the coming days. Four of these will be more terrible than you can ever imagine. The four pitchers of the apocolypse will soon arrive."

Matt Macri gasped. Brendan Harris started crying like a little girl.

"Yes, it's true. Randy Johnson, Brandon Webb, Jake Peavy and Gregg Maddux are on their way and we must be prepared." Gardy turned to Justin Morneau. "Justin do you have your magic bat?"


"Oh...I'll take your magic bat..." Joe Mauer winked seductively at Justin.

"Joe this is no time for love games," snapped Gardy. "We must be ready. But for now, all we can do is wait."

1 comment:

  1. This post just reaffirmed for me why you are the coolest thing ever to walk upright on land.

    (You V.s. Stegasoraus in the final of coolest thing ever on land--Aquaman awaits the winner)