6.26.2008

The Final Battle

Three of the four Pitchers of the Apocalypse lay broken and beaten across the dusty fields of Interleagia.

Pestilent Johnson ambushed behind a bluff by Matt Macri and an acorn crazed Craig Monroe.
Warring Webb surpracted in Domey Dale by Alexi Cassila and Brian Buscher.
Deathly Peavy, and his horse, Trevor the Terrible, taken apart on the sands of San Diablo by Buscher and Brendan Harris, Comic Foil at Large.

Now only one remained, Maddux, the Harbinger of Famine, the man who deprived all of hits with both pitches and his glove. Who had risen to the lofty ranks of the greatest and most terrible of all the historic Pitchers of the Apocalypse.

Maddux, the Harbinger of Famine, began well, he outdueled hitter after hitter, menacing, yet aloof. And then he made his greatest mistake.

For he chose to pester Gogo, the Majordomo of Mojo, hitting him in the elbow.

"Did you see that!?" Said Gogo, his eyes blazing with the heat of of a thousand fiery suns. "He hit me in the arm!"

"Yeah, did it hurt?" asked Jerry, Gardy the Garden Gnome's happy little helper. 

"It hurt too much...now, he must DIBIMIHAN!"

"Debbie Mahan?"

"DIBIMIHAN!"

"Dibs on my ham?"

"DI-BI-MY-HAN!"

"Oh, die by my hand...."

"MY--HAN!"

"Okay, okay, your hand...whatever, just don't go crazy."

But it was too late...For Gogo of Mojo had begun to channel his crazy Gogo powers. He soon scored on a double from Chairman Mauer, but he was not done. Soon, with Maddux the Harbinger of Famine fading, falling behind the mighty bats of the Twins, Gogo returned to first and blazed past Maddux, leaving nothing but scorched earth in his wake.

Brendan Harris tried to calm his fiery rage. "Hey, Gogo, did you see that I hit another home r-"

"HE MUST DIBIMIHAN!" Screamed Gogo vaulting past Harris, who had no alternative but to roll his eyes toward the camera.
And then again Gogo did smite the last attempt of the Harbinger of Famine, delivering the final blow against the Four Pitchers of the Apocalypse and speeding merrily past Maddux's slowly broasting carcass. "HE HAS DYDBIMIHAN!!" he bellowed into the sky turning all the heavens above into a bleeding orange and wreaking the last of his terrible vengeance upon the foes of justice, and consistent hitting. 

1 comment:

  1. ...and then Gogo made the Speedy Gonzales cry and sped off into the night leaving only a trail of dust...dust in the wind...?

    ReplyDelete