Who's on first?

So it was a Sunday afternoon, kind of sunny and nice, and the Twins were having a pretty decent ball game. This, thought Mike Lamb, would be the perfect moment for an old prospector's jig about town, and what better audience than little Nicky Punto, all by his lonesome on second base.
MIKE LAMB: Hey there y'all, wanna see my jiggerty jig?
NICK PUNTO: Uh no... not really a good time man.
MIKE LAMB: Ar ya sure? Its a hee-hawin good time!
NICK PUNTO: Um maybe later. We're kinda in the middle of a game right now...
MIKE LAMB: Well shuks and tar-nation! Alright then I'll just gitalong back to -
...but it was too late. And poor little Nicky had to try to cover first, which isn't even technically his job. I mean, if Mike Lamb wasn't jigging around the bases WTF WAS HE EVEN DOING OVER THERE??? HOW DID WE END UP IN A POSITION WHERE OUR SECOND BASEMAN WOULD HAVE TO TRY TO PLAY FIRST BASE??? I FEEL LIKE I AM TAKING CRAZY PILLS...............................
Moral of the story: never give Justin Morneau the day off.
(I'm sorry, Justin, if you're reading this, but you should never, ever leave us again. Ever. Bad things happen when you do...)

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