Know Thine Enemy #12: The Kansas City Royals

Reasons we should toast the Royals on the olympic flame of our awesomeness:

1. We can: It's a goes without saying (though I'm about to say it anyway) that we would like the Twins to win every single game that they play. After losing 2 out of 3 to the lowly Mariners, we need to beat up on the Royals. We can, ergo, we should. *15 Loathing points*
2. The Powder Blues: The Royals insist on continuing to wear the light blue jerseys from their "glory days" in the 70s and 80s. As though dressing like a dweeby, ruffle shirted prom goer will bring them good luck. On behalf of everyone who has a formerly dweeby, ruffle-shirted prom-goer for a father, YOU DO NOT GET OUR MOJO! *26 Loathing Points*
3. My owner is more of a tool than yours: There are epic battles, battles to determine control of a country (see Congo, The Democratic Republic Of), battles to determine control of a galaxy far far away (see Star Wars, The Good Ones).  Battles to determine whose owner is more of a jackass--the one who used to foreclose on farms during the depression, or the one who employed foreign children to sew shoddy clothing and then passed it off as "Made in the USA"--are not epic, are not important, but they are funny...and as valid a reason as any to cite for winning baseball games. *23 Loathing Points*

Reasons we should lightly char the Royals like a gooey piece of French Toast:

1. Empathy: Their owner is a tool, our owner is a tool. Their team is young and scrappy, our team is young and scrappy. They have had many, many, many bad years...we have had many, many bad years. In time we will again struggle, and they will again improve...well, maybe not...but why make them feel bad? We've been there before, constant beat downs are hard to take...so just a little one will do. *-28 Loathing Points
2. Trey Hillman: Gotta love the fact that the Royals hired their manager away from the Nipon Ham Fighters. An international man of mystery, and one who kicks the crap out of a pig product! SWEET! (Not a garden gnome, but cool) *-16 Loathing Points*

Final Loathe-O-Meter Rating: 20 Loathing Points

Also Known As: The Gooberish feeling of having a bandaid on your finger for over a week.