Great...yet not.

Dry lung...deadened lymphnodes...derelict larynxes...I'm trying to think what DL has KOed Dick and Bert.

The Twins are playing on FOX, the big FOX, spraying out to the entire nation (or the entire nation that doesn't care about the Angels), and again, two people I've come to trust and rely on are Missing in Action.

The new guys, Dick Stockton and Mark Grace, don't know what to do with themselves. Punto dropped down your average "Let's-move-Denard-to-third" bunt and Stockton nearly shat himself. Here's the transcript.

Dick Stockton: "And Punto doesn't swing the bat all the way but still makes contact!"
Mark Grace: "That's crazy!"
DS: "The ball is fair! It's not a home run! But its in play!"
MG: "Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod!! WHAT DO WE DO?!?"
DS: "Now Punto's running to first base as though he thinks he can get a hit."
MG: "I--I--I can't believe it!"
DS: "There is no first baseman there! And Punto's on base!!"
MG: "Wow!"
DS: "Do you know what just happened?"
MG: "Well, in the National League, pitchers used to do that, but we assumed it was because they were little girls who were too weak to do steroids in order to hit home runs."
DS: "Really?"
MG: "Yeah, they called it a bunt, or a boont, or something."
DS: "Wow!"
MG: "Yup! These Twins are just crazy enough to try something only done in the 19th century"
DS: "My god! [Sigh] I need a smoke."

(At least Grace said the "out" call on Delmon was BS, so, I'll give him more credit on that. But Stockton called Nicky P. "PUNT-o" ) So spent were Stockton and Grace that they could barely contain themselves as the Twins strung together hits...yes...hits, singles and doubles and whatnot.

I only realize now how spoiled I am by Dick and Bert, they can explain the game, what it takes for Joe to take the ball the other way, what sign was missed by which Mariner on the bunt, how Mauer is calling the game and Baker's splitter is doing its job and Ryan Rowland-Smith is
 pitching the way Seth Rogen writes: high all the time. And they'd also manage to talk about Bert's minimal intelligence and Dick's fear of the unknown. 

Stockton and Grace, meanwhile, accurately state the very obvious things each player does shortly after they do it.
Put another way, Stockton and Grace are narrators, Dick and Bert are characters unto themselves.

So while Senors Bremer and Blyleven tend to their Diseased Leprechaun we will simply enjoy the large Twins lead and curse the DL again.


Or, now that the Twins have lost their once comfortable lead, curse Stockton and Grace, tell Dick and Bert to let the Leprechaun die with dignity and help our Bullpen find their groove again.

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