Know Thine Enemy #14: The Los Angeles Angels of Anahiem

Reasons we should rain down our terrible fury and great vengeance upon the Angels like Thor, the God of Thunder.

1. Show down: This, as my colleague so rightly pointed out, is the beginning of a big series with THE best team in baseball. Not one of the best, not a very good team, THE best team in baseball. If we want to get to the post season, or, even better, WIN in the post season, we ought to beat some of these teams. *18 Loathing Points*
2. Pretension, thy name is Los Angeles of Anaheim: Seriously? You could just pick one name? You couldn't go with "Los Angeles," or "Anaheim," or "California," or "Earth". Come on...make yourselves less mockable...just a little bit...come on. *22 Loathing Points*
3. 2002: We came back from contraction, we came back in the Central, we beat the A's in the Dvisional playoffs, and then...then...we stopped winning. The Angels kept winning, and we just stopped. I DEMAND VENGEANCE! VENGEANCE 6 YEARS AFTER THE FACT! VENGEANCE!! *6 Loathing Points*
4. The Rally Monkey: I cannot be too clear on this point. I loathe the Rally Monkey. To hell with the Rally Monkey. The Rally Monkey should be condemned to the lowest circle in Hell. It should be gnawed upon in the dark lord's frozen maw next to Brutus, Judas, and Ann Coulter. It is a pointless, irritating, noxiously overexposed bit of bile. To put it simply: I do not like it. *87 Loathing Points*

Reasons we should rain down polite critiques and subtle suggestions on the Angels, like Enid the Goddess of Passive Agressive Behavior.

1. Torii: What can you say, the man is awesome. He was our boy, our beloved, beloved Torii. The guy who even said in the national media today: "I'll always be a Minnesota Twin at heart, they taught me how to play the game." (Check out the full article on The U.S. of A. Today)Notice, that he is still our guy, he's just wearing a different uniform, so I suggest we trade off, and Troii help us win...subtly, and we help Torii win one of three for the Angels...subtly. Maybe I'm too much of a romantic, maybe I'm a sucker who holds a special place in his heart for all his exes, but if loving Torii is wrong, I don't want to be right. *-75 Loathing Points*
2. Get it out of the way: Knowing statistics as I do, I am aware that we will probably NOT go 14 and 0 on this road trip, so, since we have to lose some games, why not lose one or two agains the best team and then crush Oakland, Seattle and Toronto...which will be easier to do and give us more momentum. It's not ideal...but it's likely. And if we're going to have to lose to someone, it might as well be the best...rather than, you know, the worst. *-2 Loathing Points*

Final Loathe-O-Meter Rating: 56 Loathing Points

Also Known As: The inane yelling of cable political commentators who act as though disagreement is the equivalent of treason. (Ms. Coulter, Mr. Begala, Mr. Carville, Mr. Hannity, et. al)