Wrigley is marvelous because of ivy, Harry Carrey, gigantic sausages, and because we won.
However, Wrigley contains some characters. Somebody who punched a Twins fan for not throwing back Mauer's home run. A homeless man named Ronnie Woo-Woo who sneaks into every game ever (and always goes: "woo-woo" hence the name). And Milton Bradley, who shared this opinion with Jason Kubel before the game.
[During batting practice]
BRADLEY: Hey! KUBEL!!! HEY!!! C'mere a second man, I wanna talk to you
KUBEL: Uh...hi Milton Bradley, starting Right Fielder for the Chicago Cubs.
BRADLEY: Why did you refer to me by my full name, position and organization?
KUBEL: Force of habit...we do that so that those unfamiliar with baseball will understand the blogs.
BRADLEY: Cool. Anyway, dude, mad props on the Running is Stupid campaign you got goin' on!
KUBEL: Thanks Milton, I appreciate that.
BRADLEY: I got an informative campaign goin on too!
KUBEL: What's yours Milton?
BRADLEY: Counting is stupid!
KUBEL: Huh?
BRADLEY: Think about it...how often do you count things?
KUBEL: Uh...every day?
BRADLEY: No way...what do you count?
KUBEL: Um..strikes, balls, outs?
BRADLEY: THAT'S STUPID!! I don't ever count anything! Particularly when there are so many surprising and distracting things to--SQUIRREL!!! [Bradley stands at attention staring intently into the ivy in the outfield, where he believes there is a squirrel. ] Anyway...counting is stupid.
KUBEL: Seriously, Milton, I don't think that's...
BRADLEY: Look banner Jason!!
KUBEL: Is that a piece of pizza above your banner?
BRADLEY: Yes...yes it is...
KUBEL: Why?
BRADLEY: This Chicago unless there is something covered in cheese, Chicagoans will not listen to your words of wisdom. Anyway man, I just wanted to come by and say nice work, and I hope to work with you on future anti-stupid--SQUIRREL!!! [Bradley again stands at attention staring into the ivy in the outfield. On the other side of the batting cage, Masters of Supraction Delmon Young and Michael Cuddyer quickly develop a plan.]
So it came to pass, that Milton Bradley's well intentioned attempt to rid the world of counting, was bested by the fine art of Supraction. And thus did the Minnesota Twins arise victorious from their day in the sun at Wrigleyville.
It's a marvelous place.
Is that really how the Twins fan got the bloody nose? The announcers kept saying he got hit in the nose by the ball...interesting!
ReplyDeleteI think he actually got punched in the face, but I can't find anything about it in the recaps...
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that I hope he did? Not that I want Twins fans to get hurt...but the whole "taking one for the team" is kind of a cool story to tell!
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