Good V. Evil

To begin with, WOO A SWEEP!!! I believe that one of the root causes of this sweep was that Stinky and I, in a text conversation, bemoaned our likely loss thusly: "We probably won't win because a man in a giant chicken suit will kidnap Mauer, Morneau and Kubel and demand a ransom."

As such, during the 6-run making 7th inning, while I was driving to teach a friend's improv troupe, I made the following chicken noise before every batter hit: "bwakbwakbwakbwak, bwaaaaakbwakbwakbwakbwak--gobblegobblegobble--mmmm...INSERT NAME OF BATTER HERE.

So we won, perhaps the chicken noises were critical, perhaps not, but whatever the case, we are now en route to NYC--to take on the most evil of all franchises: the New York Soul-Sucking, Cash-Hoarding, Blights-Upon-Humanity. I mean, the New York Yankees.

Though I will not be posting an Enemies post today, I will share the following tidbit. This offseason, the Yankees promised 423 million dollars over the next eight years, to three players. That means that for the price of three players the Yankees could have the entire Twins roster 6.5 times. Yes, 6 Joe Nathans, 6 Justin Morneaus, 6 Cuddys and Kudubels and Cudredes.

As Stinky pointed out last winter, the recent Twilight movie made one thing clear. If Vampires are ridiculously good at baseball because they are better runners, jumpers, throwers and hitters than everyone else since ever--than these three players are most definitely vampires.
Beware them Twins players--beware them!! (And in the spirit of low expectations, we wholly expect that despite the scads of home runs hit by left handed hitters in the New Yankee Stadium, our left handed line-up will not only NOT hit home runs, but will also spend the entire series playing pinocchle and shopping for poodles, leaving our poor pitchers to play every single position--and making them cry--and lose.)

1 comment:

  1. OK... not to be a HUGE GIGANTIC DORK (even though I am)... you even got the right evil vampires in your photoshop (sad that I know this? yes. I don't even like Twilight that much. But there it is. I know which vampires in the movie are the evil ones. Sue me.)