Reasons we should slice and dice the Brewers into fun little cubes that can then be speared by toothpicks and and served on a silver platter.
1. Border War: I don't pretend to understand it. Both states have roughly the same geography, demographics and interests in the welfare of their people. And both states have a whole infatuation with Brett Favre that I can't even pretend to understand. Whatever the case, Minnesota V.s. Wisconsin is serious business, so this is serious business. *38 Loathing Points*
2. Shockingly important: Pop quiz hot shot--Who are the two best teams in the National Leagues? Lots of people know the Dodgers are up there, with or without Manny; number 2? The Brewers...honest to god, the Brewers. So...if we beat them, we make a bold statement about how far we can go this season, and make ourselves a serious contender for best team in the AL (assuming we can ever win games on the road). *26 Loathing Points*
3. Bud Selig: Don't know what in the hell he's still doing in charge of the game. Don't know why in the hell he got the job in the first place. Can hardly wait to get rid of the man. And send him back to--WISCONSIN...from whence all evil things derive. *94 Loathing Points*
Reasons we should invite the Brewers to join us for a serving of fondu, and offend them so much that they run away crying.
1. Brauny Vegetarians: Got to admit, the Brewers are an amusing bunch. A power hitting Jewish Right Fielder and a rather tubby vegetarian first baseman. Now that they sound like a punk band, they are harder to hate. *-18 Loathing Points*
2. Keep the Peace: If Hamlet the Quarterback ever gets off the dime and comes to the land of 10,000 lakes troops will amass on the borders. If Hamlet the quarterback lands in purple and gold AND we beat the ever loving snot out of the Brewers, its just ON. So lets take a deep breath, count to ten, and avoid a civil war. *-100 Loathing Points*
Final Loathe-o-Meter Rating: 40 Loathing Points
(+26 Loathing Points from last year)
Punishment: Being tied in a sack with a badger and a gopher.