Know Thine Enemy '09: The Detroit Tigers

Reasons we should compound the miseries of Detroit until it sinks into a gigantic GM sized crater:
  1. Surging forces: The Tigers are playing very well lately, womping us a week ago, and then doing the same to the Indians. They sit atop the division, so if we can womp them now...we can seriously lay claim to being the baddest of the badasses. *18 Loathing Points*
  2. Random acts of Violence: A year ago we posted our first "on-the-road" blog, from Comerica, lost in the glory of the win was the fact that in the middle of the ninth inning our intrepid reporter had to stand between drunken hooligans and small children, while skulls were being pounded into seats and blood was gushing over steps. For such bizarre violence alone the Tigers must be penalized by the kind, thoughtful, considerate players and fans from the Minnesota Twins. *83 Loathing Points*
  3. Kiss: I enjoy a little Detroit Rock City as much as the next man...but when you've become a pitchman for Diet Dr. Pepper with Cherry...you've jumped the shark. *7 Loathing Points*
Reasons we should bailout the Tigers and help them feel good about themselves.
  1. We own them: We as American tax payers now own a 1% share of GM stock...which makes us the largest share holders in Detroit's largest company. Which makes us the benefactors of a large portion of Detroit's population, who use the paychecks we give them to buy tickets to Comerica Park, which are in turn used to pay for the salaries of the Tigers. SO! If the Tigers win, America wins...of course if the Tigers lose to the teams we tell them to lose to, America also wins...ahh, the beauties of state owned industries! *-1 Loathing Point*
  2. Naming the Lobsters: I've said before, it's harder to loathe a thing once you can connect it to a face and a tangible person. I've had no problem denouncing Manager Jim Leyland and the pitching staff as fools and dunderheads from afar. But in the last two days I took a phone reservation from Justin Verlander, discovered that the man has a pretty good voice, seated half the Tigers coaching staff, and found out that they are all pretty good tippers. Now that I've met them and found out that they are decent human beings it's harder to hate them, and wish their total destruction. Just partial destruction. *-75 Loathing points*
  3. Ty Cobb: He's now on the Alternate Universe Twins team, that's how much we like him. The man is a badass, a slightly evil badass, but our beloved badass none the less. *-1 Loathing Point*
Final Loathe-O-Meter Rating: 31 Points
(-20 Loathing Points from Last Year)
Punishment: Post-game spreads will consist only of Little Ceaser's Pizzas from now on.


  1. And not to mention, the other reason we love Ty Cobb... :)

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