So we've already discovered that the key to winning is low expectations. Last night I realized it is even more helpful when these expectations are not only low but disastrous, and highly specific.
On Friday:
"I know we're up 9-0 but they could still rally!"
And we won.
On Saturday:
We chanted "low expectations!!!" every time we went to check the score on my mini-crackberry.
And we won.
On Sunday:
I assumed everything would be fine.
And we lost.
Yesterday:
Scruffy and I were on the phone just before I went to bed.
SCRUFFY: So did we win yet?
STINKY: Well, Dread Pirate Nathan was pitching. I just turned off my radio but I assume everything's fine.
SCRUFFY: LOW EXPECTATIONS!
STINKY: RIGHT. So... Nathan is pitching, so I assume he exploded in a firey auto wreck when a ford truck bashed through the wall of the Metrodome and ran him down, and all the Tigers ran the bases and we lost a gajillion to nothing.
And we won.
Coincidence? I think not.
So tonight I fully expect the Metrodome to become lost in an alternate universe and the entire Twins starting lineup to be abducted by aliens who want to study them so they can grow sideburns like Joe Mauer. We'll obviously have to forfeit.
Obviously. We are brilliant
ReplyDelete