I'm Ben MacKenzie, and I DO NOT approve of Toronto Blue Jays baseball

There's a problem with tonight's game in Toronto (not the 3 errors and continuously struggling bullpen which drove me CRAZY, and led to our loss). The problem? The Blue Jays are all about copyright infringement. 

Delmon Young comes on to pinch hit, and promptly supracts himself a ground rule double off the right fielder en route to a three run double from Joe Mauer. 

The next inning Scott Rolen inserted a Mexican Jumping Bean into his ground ball so that it would leap like spume from a geyser over Nick Punto's head, letting the tying run in.

Listen here, Blue Jays. Supraction (TM) is the exclusive property of Peanuts From Heaven, Inc. And it may not be reproduced, reaired or disseminated without the express written consent of Kristina's dog Merlin. The Twins have Merlin's express written consent...mostly because Delmon Young can make kibble appear out of thin air. (In retrospect, we might have done a better job of choosing our lawyer...Merlin's grasp of estate law....a little suspect)

Worse still there's a sign rotating behind the hitters that gives the impression that I, am

 somehow behind the Blue Jays. The MacKenzie investment firm of Ontario is IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER connected to me. As long as you stubborn Blue Jays refuse to die I will remain recalcitrant towards your existence. So do what I'm telling you to...and maybe, just maybe, Peanuts From Heaven will give you some real, honest to goodness, American dollars (if you're lucky)

Regardless of tonight's outcome, we can all take solace in the fact that everyone loves garden gnomes!