Know Thine Enemy #15: The Toronto Blue Jays

Reasons we should exterminate the Toronto Blue Jays like vile, disgusting cockroaches:

1. The Drunk Guys: Having been to Toronto's Rogers' Centre, and seen the Blue Jays best the New York Yankees, I should be very nice to the north of the border patrol. Unfortunately, I sat two rows in front of a group of drunken Blue Jay fans who felt the need to scream such obscenities at Alex Rodriguez that even I wanted a Yankee player to do well. So, the Blue Jays, and by association, those men, should suffer. *31 Loathing Points*
2. Damn Loonies: Many know that recently the Candian dollar passed the American dollar in value as a currency. Things are back to normal, we've got a 7 cent lead on them, but still, they've got to be different don't they, with their negligible exchange rate and their ducks and what not. Screw 'em! *7 Loathing Points*
3. The Queen: On the note of money, Canadians still have the Queen on their bills, and why? because the Queen of England is still their Head of State.  That's right, independence shmindependence, say the Canucks. Come 'on! Lose the Training Diaper! Cut the cord! Grow a pair! Other denegrations of your masculinity! *18 Loathing Points*
4. Shannon Stewart: Sweet, sweet Shannon, part of our beloved Soul Patrol, the one free agent pick up who actually worked out for us. Shannon had been a Blue Jay, and recently returned to the Great White North--and how was he repaid? The Jay's cut him. VENGEANCE! FOR SHANNON! FOR STEW-DOGG! *23 Loathing Points*

Reasons we should apathetically ignore the Toronto Blue Jays like, well, Blue Jays:

1. Good folks: Again, I've been there, and again, 90% of the experience was positive--only the jerkwads behind me should suffer, and on top of that I have the pleasure of knowing several wonderful Canadians, and though only one of them has ever mentioned the Blue Jays to me (Ontario Artist Steve McDonald) I will honor them all by focusing on bringing suffering to the few drunk dillweeds rather than the many fine Canucks. *-30 Loathing Points*
2. The gaping maw of anonymity: The real pain for the Blue Jays and their fans is not that they haven't been to the playoffs since 1993. It's not that they have sucked, like the Royals--because they haven't. It's not that they've made terrible roster moves, like the Orioles--they haven't. It's not that they are overpaid and underperforming, like the Mariners--they aren't. They aren't good like the Red Sox or Yankees, or spunky like the Twins or Rays, or unstoppable like the Angels. They just are. They are a middle of the pack team whose appearance on your schedule is invariably followed by a: "there's still a team in Canada?" So for the forgotten few, for Roy Hallady and Vernon Wells and the irrepressible Greg Zaun: we salute you. *-46 Loathing Points*

Final Loathe-O-Meter Rating: 13 Loathing Points

Also Known As: Accidently getting pink rubber bands for your braces