"WHATEVER YOU DO BRIAN DON'T E-MAIL IT!!!"
She meant AIR Mail it...but the mental image of Buscher catching the head high hop, rushing to third base to scan the ball into the system, save it, open his g-mail (account: BuhBuhBuhBuscher@gmail.com), attach the .gif file of the ball and send it to Justin (account: "email@example.com) was too amusing. In writing, not so much, but she's my mother so laughing at her expense is fine...as long as you're willing to get flipped off.
But my mother had another point to make: "Now, Carlos, don't go crazy!" when I suddenly remembered, it's been a long time since Carlos Gomez has gone crazy. Mostly because Carlos has been to busy swinging at fastballs low and away to do anything but fan the atmosphere. His playing time's been cut, he's moved to the bottom of the order, he's not the same man any more. But when he was plunked by Justin Verlander you could see a flash of the old crazy eyed Carlos. And when Verlander threw to first base four times the gleam grew brighter and brighter until, at last, mild...okay...medium-spicy tempered Carlos Gomez transformed into:
"He hitted me!" screamed Gogo, "He hitted me in de body!!"
"Yeah, I suppose he did," explained Denard, who had not yet encountered the crazed Gomez.
"He must now DIBIMIHAN!"
"Why are you shouting?"
"HE MUS' DIBIMIHAN!! DIS IS AN UNCONSCIONABLE INSULT TO MIMUDDER AND MIFADDER AND MIGREATAUNTSALLY AND MI--"
"I don't understand..." said Denard
"You see Denard," explained Alexi Cassila, who still has not found an amusing persona, but is used as the foil in this situation because we miss him and want to include him on the fun, "Ben finds that phrase funny, so he made it Gogo's catch phrase back in June when the blog first started."
"How many times has he used it?"
"How many times has Carlos determined whether or not we won the game?"
"Thanks. Now, Carlos is now repeating his catch phrase for Ben's amusement, and the amusement of anyone else who finds it funny"
"So...just for Ben then?"
"--AND MILETTERCARRIERPERSONAGEPHIL AND MIKIDDIEKORNERNEYBURLYDIA!! oh...I can bat now...so Verlander will DIBIMIHAN!!"
And so Gogo did mightly smite the ball for a two run double to give the Twins the lead and make me so happy that I quickly wrote this post.
Unfortunately the bullpen sucks. And now we are losing again...where's the love bullpen? Huh? Where?? Perhaps its stuck in cyberspace with the ball Justin was supposed to hit out of the park for a walk off grandslam. Damn the interwebs!!