So sad...

You know what I wrote three hours ago.

Yeah...this game is the absolute opposite of that.

But why? WHY?!?

Perhaps it has something to do with this, as reported by Merlin...the magical dog who knows all, sees all and loves the Twins.

Brendan Harris and Alexi Cassila were walking towards the vistor's clubhouse in Baltimore this morning talking about what had happened the night before.
HARRIS: I feel so alive! I mean, now I'm capable of communicating with people through televisions, it's just great to be alive.
CASILLA: I know! Wait...no I don't.
HARRIS: Silly Alexi, you can't talk through televisions.
CASILLA: Yeah, but, it's still great to be alive. I mean, 24 runs in one day, we are AWESOME!
As they turned the corner into the clubhouse they were suprise, and distracted, by Delmon Young's sudden cry: "SUPRACTION BITCHES!!!"
HARRIS: Delmon, what are you doing?
YOUNG: It's my birthday today! So I'm throwing a Supraction party!
CASILLA: But we were going to throw you a surprise party after we won today's game.
YOUNG: Silly Alexi, suprises are for sissies! SUPRACTION YO!!
HARRIS: So you're throwing yourself a party?
YOUNG: Yeah! Me and Wayne [Hattaway, Twins clubhouse manager] have been up all night setting it up! Well...Wayne set it up I was busy playing with confetti.
CASSILLA: Shouldn't we be getting ready for the game?
YOUNG: Silly Alexi, parties are fun! Look at Nick Blackburn--he should be getting ready to pitch, but he's too busy having fun.
BLACKBURN: Cake is good.
YOUNG: So get in here and try the ball pit I've got set up in the showers. IT'S SUPRACTALICIOUS!!!

The party was, by Merlin's report, fun. Though he tried to get them to try batting practice, pitching warm-ups or any kind of game planning, Merlin is a dog...and incapable of human speech (he reported this to Peanuts From Heaven, Inc. through morse code paw tappings). Hopefully, the team will be so tuckered out from the party that they'll sleep soundly en route to Cleveland tonight...and not lose a game again until Delmon's next birthday party.


  1. "Cake or death?" That's a pretty easy question. Anyone could answer that.

    "Cake or death?"

    "Eh, cake please."

    "Very well! Give him cake!"

    "Oh, thanks very much. It's very nice."

    "You! Cake or death?"

    “Uh, cake for me, too, please."

    "Very well! Give him cake, too! We're gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?"

    "Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry..."

    "You said death first, uh-uh, death first!"

    "Well, I meant cake!"

    "Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England!" Cake or death?"

    "Uh, cake please."

    "Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush. So what do you want?"

    "Well, so my choice is 'or death’? I’ll have the chicken then, please.

  2. (courtesy of Eddie Izzard, wizard of all things that are brilliant)

  3. Don't forget! Chicken tastes of humans!

    (I didn't know you an Eddie-addict too. Now there's a Dressed to Kill night in our future.)