A first glance at the NL All-stars

Here at Peanuts From Heaven Inc. we know that the busy Minnesota Twins fan doesn't necessarily have time to learn, or care about players on other teams. So we are happy to provide a quick glossary of who these players are and how you can recognize them.

Our overview of other all-stars continues with the National League

NL

C-Geovany Soto--Non-descript, but thankfully wears a mask

1B-Lance Berkman--Mike Lamb's inspiration for a prospector's beard

2B-Chase Utley--as non-descript as Seto, but without the mask.

SS-Hanley Ramirez--mini-goat, plays like a young Alex Rodriguez

3B-Chipper Jones--who cares?

OF-Alfonso Soriano--looks/acts like he did with the Yankees, just wears a different uniform

OF-Kosuke Fukadome--Hansel to Ichiro's Zoolander

OF-Ryan Braun--big smile, searching for a synagogue in Milwaukee

**Bench

C-Brian McCann--ATL--Tubby and scruffy...what a catcher ought to be

C-Russel Martin--LA--Rectangular headed Roy Campanella

1B-Albert Pujols--STL--The best hitting unibrow in baseball

1B-Adrian Gonzalez--SD--a cabana boy wannabe

2B-Dan Uggla--FLA--Mostly stoic with the odd crazy eyes

3B-Aramis Ramirez--CHI--Chicago loves the Lincoln-esque beard

SS-Miguel Tejada--HOU--A natural...user of steroids.

SS-Christian Guzman--WAS--Yes, Gooooooooooooooooooz-man. 

OF-Ryan Ludwick--STL--looks like an assistant auto mechanic 

OF-Matt Holiday--COL--NOT in Queen Latifa's "Last Holiday"

OF-Nate McClouth--PIT--The only talented man in Pittsburgh

**Pitchers

Aaron Cook--COL--the man who's lucky his manager runs the NL team

Tim Lincecum--SF--looks like your precocious 12 year old neighbor

Dan Haren--AZ--mangy beard/quasi-mulleted hard thrower

Brandon Webb--AZ--That guy the Twins crushed a couple weeks ago.

Ben Sheets--MIL--That guy the Twins crushed a week ago.

Carlos Zambrano--CHI--loves his tongue, shows it to the world

Ryan Dempster--CHI--my goatee, minus my lack of athletic ability

Brian Wilson--SF--geometrically perfect goatee

Edinson Volquez--CIN--gum chewing rookie with a thundrous arm, watch him now before Baker ruins him like he ruined...

Kerry Wood--CHI--apparently he's only "mostly" dead

Brad Lidge--PHI--the most fragile psyche you've ever seen

Billy Wagner--NY--The only talented man in Shea stadium