"This sucks!" said Brendan Harris
"This really sucks!" said Denard Span
"This sucks worse than Space Chimps!" said Alexi Casilla.
"You saw that?" asked Harris
"It's the only thing that Gogo and I could get into...everybody thinks we've got fake id's."
"We need a rally..." said
"WE NEED PIRANHAS!" said Nick Punto
"But all the old Piranhas are gone," said Mike Redmond, "I mean, we're down from three Jason's to one!"
"But look around," said Nicky P. "Brendan could be a piranha, Denard could be a piranha, Alexi and Gogo practically personified Piranha-dom while I was on the DL. We just need something to get started."
"What if we were something more than Piranha's?" asked Craig Monroe, recently returned from another unexplained trip into the forest.
"Uh...Craig," said Nicky P.
"What if instead of being Piranhas we were Squirrels!"
"Why would we do that? Piranhas are fierce and Squirrels are just..."
"We'd be fast and nimble and we could eat all nuts we could get our hands on!!"
"Craig that sounds really--"
And so Craig Monroe ran to the batter's box, broke up the perfect game with a double, and scored on a series of softly hit ground balls. Sure it was Justin Morneau's double that won the game, sure Nick Blackburn worked his way out of innumerable jams. But Craig Monroe is so rarely seen and mocked...that this was a necessary post.