Another Letter from Livan Hernandez

I am so so so so so so sorry my cherie 'Sota,

So so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry.

Sorrier dan de acting career of Dustin Diamond.

Sorrier dan de excuse of judicial prudence exemplified by de Roberts court.

Sorry.

I did not know dat my hands were still covered in the grease of de luau pig. She was so delicious, and after burying her under de Cleve-a-land field some months ago, she was ready for de eating. She was delicious, and I was so happy to be full on de sweet sweet piggy meat. I knew I would make you proud.

But de napkins...OH DE NAPKINS!! De Cleve-a-landers, dey don' have no napkins. De are banned in Cleve-a-land. So my hands, dey were slippery wit pig grease. So de ball, she slipped so fat on to the plate and de hitters, dey pulvederized it.

But you must have seen. after de grease left my hands, de ball...she did what I tell her to do. But still...is my fault. I am so sorry. I don't deserve your love cherie 'Sota. But to prove I still love you I will not eat de roasted luau piggy no more! Not even if Boofy glazes it wit de sweet pinapple holandaize. Not even if Gardy serves it to me in his little gnome hat (hee hee--it makes me laugh). 

BUT DIS IS NO FUNNY! I WILL NO MORE EAT DE PIG! Only de cow, de chicken, de horse, de frog, de snake, de dog, de octo-squid, de fishies, de narhwhal's, de chupacabre, DESE WILL I EAT, AND ONLY DESE!

I make dis sacrifice for you my 'Sota. As my penance for de mistakes.

Your so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry lover,

Livan